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Wednesday, 14 March 2018

So She Slapped Her Mother In-Law

So we look at the second issue that I promised to discuss in the second part of my previous post and the issue is about a lady who was beaten black and blue with bruises by her husband because she slapped her mother-in-law. And another lady who was also beaten by her husband because she seized his phone as a result of abuse of phone use in the house.
Quite a handful of women maintain that for no reason at all should a man beat his wife and even though I agree to this theory, I will add that for no reason at all should a wife provoke her husband to anger. Life is all about causes and effects. I know that a lot of wives suffer from the hands of aggressive and violent husbands but the truth of the matter is that if a man is exhibiting violent tendencies, there must be reasons behind his behavior and before we throw the baby away along with the birth water we need to check again and have a second thought on cases of violence in marriages.
If your marriage is not undergoing spiritual attacks that might generate continuous or frequent conflicts between the husband and his wife, and there are no cases of extra-marital affairs on the part of any of the two, and we have ruled out pair pressure, financial and economic pressure that can cause tension in the marriage and home, then the next thing is for the wife to watch her conduct to ensure that she avoids things that will provoke violence in her marriage. I speak to the wife first because she is the homebuilder, not that husbands too don't provoke their wives to anger but a gentle response the Bible says drives away wrath. 
It’s so easy to condemn a man who beats up his wife for any and every reason, God said in Malachi 2:16 that He hates a man who clothes himself with violence as with his garment and so I will not fault anyone who speaks against a violent husband. But we also need to point the searchlight on the wives. I agree that there are some gentle-spirited wives that are grossly maltreated by their husbands, but in the same vein, there are some dangerous mouthed wives too. The Bible says in Proverbs 21:23 that “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” When a wife does not have control over her temper and cannot exercise authority over her tongue, then she is in trouble.
It is assumed that a real man should know how to handle difficult marital challenges without being violent, but is that an excuse for the real wives to be uncultured? For as long as a wife would want to be treated like a queen by her husband then she should be ready to treat him like a king first. A beautiful marriage does not just happen it is cultivated. And whatever you sow into your marriage is what you will reap from it. God’s word can never prove false, we learn in Genesis 8:22 that as long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest will never cease.
It is the duty of a woman to build her home, and as she builds it so shall she live in it. No woman should ever think that she is empowered to verbally discipline her husband not to talk of thinking of punishing her husband for wrongdoing. She is a suitable helper to her husband according to the word of God in Genesis 2:18 and not the husband’s disciplinarian.
I do not exonerate the husbands of wrongdoing in marriage but if a woman is living with the notion that she can correct her husband when he is wrong then she should be ready for a lot of marital troubles or challenges. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says it is through the reverence and purity of a godly wife that an unbelieving husband is won over to God. And in my own words, I will say that it is through the purity, reverence, and prayers of a godly wife’s life that her husband is corrected and not by words. If for any reason you try to exert control over your husband in any way no matter how subtle, it will meet with resistance and if you have a husband who does not have control over his emotions, that resistance will be accompanied by violence.
No matter how right you think you are in a marriage, the secret to a successful marriage mostly requires the ability of the wife to be able to stoop to conquer. Marital battles are not fought in words or fist, they are fought on the knees in prayers.
A real wife will not for any and every reason be rude to her mother-in-law not to talk of slapping her. If you cannot raise your hands to slap your mother, then never think of doing that to your mother-in-law. If the Lord has declared that the two have become one in flesh and spirit, then by simple reasoning, you as a wife is your husband in another form. If then you and your husband are no longer two but one and we can reason then that the wife is the husband in another form, then we can also conclude that the wife mother is also the husband’s mother and the husband’s mother is also the wife’s mother. As a wife, you didn’t come out of your husband’s mother’s womb, but because she is your husband’s mother and you and your husband are one, then she has become your mother.
And then God said in Exodus 20:12 that, “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” So a real woman who is living to please the Lord will follow the instructions for of God her life to honor her husband’s mother who is also her mother by virtue of marriage.
Even if your mother-in-law wrongs you in any way and does not treat you like her child, you who is a real woman who knows the truth of the word of God and is working according to the will of God will do as the word of God says and attract the love of your mother by marriage through the love, respect and honor you show to her. If then she continues to be mean to you, she will surely face the wrath of God. When you do your bit and honor, respect and love your mother-in-law, you give room to God to do His own bit by fighting your battles for you. 
I agree and know certainly that two wrongs don’t make a right, so to say that I consent to a husband beating up his wife is not the picture here. But as a wife never do anything whatsoever to provoke your husband to anger. Pray and apply wisdom in relating to your husband in a manner that promotes the peace and joy of your marriage. 

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