I Think You Need to Learn from my Mistake

Hello people how are you doing, I trust you are doing great and I bless God because I am doing great too.

In my post today I want to share a personal story that I think we can learn from. I had shared about unity as a secret to success in marriage in my last post and just along that line, I remembered my own personal experience on the issue.

When we first got married my husband and I wrote down a list of things we wanted God to do for us as early as possible in our marital life. We had this long list of furniture and gadgets we wanted to own and so I began to pray on this list. Just a small fraction of what was on that list materialized within the time frame we wanted them done. We didn’t go far at all with our request list.

About two years ago as I was searching through stacks of old papers and documents in one of my cabinets, I came across the same request list that we had written about thirteen year ago that I was praying about. I smiled when I realized that all that was on the list had actually been done and achieved in bigger measure and we never even realized it. I showed my husband the list and was about to start going on about how good and faithful God is, when he made a comment that halted my excitement. He said it took us about ten years to get the manifestation of what we wrote on the list, and I began to think. That statement really dulled my excitement, but then it occurred to me that it wasn’t God’s fault that we had the delay, it was our fault. The years we had spent fighting each other rather than working together, the years we had been living together yet separated at heart didn’t count.

Matthew 18:19

Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

Matthew 19:4

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.’”

The passages above says if two of you on earth agree about anything and ask, it will be done for you by God, but what happens if two don’t agree? That simply means their request will be on hold until they agree. There are some request that needs to be presented to God in agreement and one of such request are the request that originates from marriage. The Bible tells us that “for this reason a man will leave father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will be one flesh” any request coming from this source must come in agreement before God. The two who have become one flesh must come in agreement to make a request before God. Until the agreement is reached and presented in its proper form, the request is put on hold and unattended to. And that was what delayed the answers to the prayer list drafted by my husband and I. We drafted the request in agreement, and presented it in agreement and afterward the unity between us broke down and we stopped to be in agreement with each other and God put our request on hold till we sorted out our differences and reunited.

Its like when you have a joint account and the mandate on that account is that both must sign before disbursement/withdrawal is made. So you cannot receive any payment on any cheque presented on a joint account unless the two required signatures are on the cheque leave. So if you have only one signature on your request document, you request will be returned to you to go get the second signature. That is how the issue of marriage is.

If you probably feel God is blessing you alone in a marriage and you think you don’t need any agreement with your spouse, I can tell you for free that you are shortchanging yourself. The Bible tells us that one would chase a thousand, but two will chase tens of thousands, so you would be achieving more when in agreement with your spouse than you would have achieved alone. And its not just a simple addition of just a double portion but its coming in geometric multiplication, so you would achieve more together than alone and at the end of the day you would shortchange yourself on your lone struggle.

The devil has conveniently helped us to boost our pride while subtly looting us of our inheritance in God and so we focus more on the wrong done to us by our spouses and the need to avenge ourselves of this wrong than to pursue peace and unity with our spouses and let God right the wrongs in our marriage and handle the wrongs done against us by our spouses in ways He knows best. 

Its not important who is wrong or right in your marriage, the important thing is that you understand that while being single you had a personal account in heaven, you could approach God as a single person, pray to God and have Him answer your prayers based on your personal account in heaven. But when marriage sets in, your account status changes, your account is automatically merged with that of your spouse and in heaven you are no longer two separate individuals but one both in flesh and in spirit maintaining a single account in heaven. So when you are presenting a request before God its one account bearing two signatures. That request needs to be presented in agreement with your spouse for it to receive express attention from God.

One of the ways you can still make use of your personal account in heaven is when you are praying for your spouse and you are praying for your salvation or his/hers. But it is important that you understand and appreciate that your account status in heaven has changed once married and to make withdrawal from heaven’s store house you need to obtain the agreement of your spouse.

What my husband and I experienced on the issue of our prayer request is being experienced by countless marriages today and so it is important that couples do all that they can to maintain the unity of their marriage and approach all matters as a unit and not as separate entities. When they do, they have better success in all they set their hearts to do. Ecclesiastes 4:9 says two are better than one because they have good returns for their labor. 

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