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Tuesday, 17 October 2017

A Lineage Characterized By Broken Marriages

Hello wonderful people, I am positive that by the special grace of God, you are doing very well. So am I and mine too and so for all I give thanks to God. 
I so excited so announce that you can listen and download the voice version of today's blog just by clicking on this https://soundcloud.com/aderinsola-obasa/a-lineage-of-broken-marriages. Yes this is how passionate and burdened God has made me about your marital success. God is so very interested in making sure that your marriage succeed and you have it good in every other area of your life too.  
Today I want to share a story with you that really got me thinking. This story is a wakeup call for all, and it shows the need to be very careful about the decisions we make in marriage, it’s not just about us, its about generations to come after us.
A few days ago I went to the salon to get my hair done and while there, one of the apprentice learning how to make hair was being scolded by the owner of the salon, my hairdresser who was making my hair at the time. Out of respect she asked me to join her in scolding the girl and her offense was that at age 17, she was already sleeping with men in their late twenties and early thirties. And on this day, the boss and hacked her phone and intercepted a call coming from one of her male friends who was trying to introduce her to another male friend who was on his way to see her in the salon. The boss had pretended to be this young girl and gotten all the information on the arranged meeting.
But I just didn’t want to scold this young girl, I wanted to know the root of her waywardness and so I began to question her. I asked her about her parents and grandparents and found that her mother is aged 35years which tells me she must have had this young at the age of 18years. Her parents are no longer together and her mother is currently living with another man. Her father used to beat her mum because she keeps late night partying and sometimes does not come home till the next day when she leaves for parties. Her mother built the house she currently lives in with her new lover which is the same house her children are living in with her and her lover. Her father is a driver and has no roof over his head. He sleeps in his commercial vehicle. His grandfather is late, but before he died he was already separated from his grandmother.
And when I asked what caused her parents separation, she told me that her dad was unable to give her mother money for her mother’s father’s burial (her grandfather’s burial) and so he didn’t help her mum for the burial party’s expenses and it was at that point that the father moved out of the house and the mother also moved into the house she built.
I don’t know how you feel reading this narration but I am heartbroken. Broken marriages and careless life style is becoming a thing that parents pass on to their children. I told the boss that I didn’t feel strong about scolding the girl because those to put her on the right path are actually the ones derailing her. She is practicing what she is learning from home. It has become a trend from grandparents to parents and invariably to the child if care is not taken and this is not a case in isolation. I have heard of cases similar to this one too many times.
Now what moral justification does this woman have to correct her child? How can she train her child to be all that God has destined her to be when she has not adequately trained herself? Can one give what one does not have? It’s so important that we understand that when we make marriage decisions, we need to put our children in consideration. Even Jesus says that its better to hang a milestone round your neck and drown than to cause the little ones who believe in Him to sin (Matthew 18:6) let alone your children that you gave birth to and are assigned to train and bring up in the way of the Lord.
Some wives would say they got a divorce and were still able to raise their children well. To those who remained unmarried and committed the rest of their lives to training their children I doff my hat for them in respect but there still remains one thing; if your daughter is married to a man like your husband and faced with similar problems in marriage as you were faced with, would you advise she does the same as you did, leave the marriage and remain single?
I do not subscribe to any wife managing or enduring her marriage because in truth I am not managing mine. I am having a time of my life with the man of my life and we have been married for close to 14years. But we didn’t get to this point of comfort by chance. It was hard work, it took a lot of sacrifice, I learnt obedience and I learnt submission. I sowed my seed in marriage and today I am reaping the fruits of my labor. And that is what the Lord has been using me to open the eyes of many to see and understand.
And I am totally against and condemn in strong terms that a man should beat his wife for any and every reason, but as a wife and a home maker, why would you provoke your husband to anger? Which well mannered wife will leave her husband and children at home and go to a party and not come back till the next day and expect her husband not to get angry. I don't have anything going to parties, but I have everything against being irresponsible about it.  
God has not called any into marriage to make them suffer, but we need to know that marriage is a threefold relationship between the man, his wife and God. The man has been instructed to love his wife unconditionally and as himself in the manner in which Christ loves the church. And the wife has been instructed to submit to her husband as unto the Lord (whether he is a believing husband or not) and God sits on the throne to judge the activities of the two who are united together.
We need to understand that marriage stops to become marriage when any of those in it default in their assignment in the union. The moment the wife stops to submit to her husband, then there is bound to be a problem and the moment the husband stops to love his wife there is a problem. The only constant in this threefold relationship is God. God never changes.
As a wife if you want your marriage to be sweet, please stay within the scope of your instruction. Submit to your husband as unto the Lord. Don’t try to be the judge of your husband’s character for his contribution to the union. Let God handle that, that is His assignment to perform. And as a husband, your assignment is to love your wife irrespective of her many shortfalls. Jesus loves you despite your many sins and He wants you to follow that same pattern in loving your wife. Don’t go beyond scope by judging her character, that assignment is for God, so let Him handle it.
What I have found to be most true is that when you keep at your assignment and you do so in prayers with God in focus, you will please God in the process and you will eventually motivate your spouse to action in performing their own instructions too.
And back to the story of the young girl, like I said earlier I couldn’t do much of scolding because this bad habit happens to be a family norm that needs dealing with from its root. But just that we may learn I will say to parents so that you might deposit good values in the lives of your children for your benefit in old age and for the good of the society at large, try to sow good seeds in your marriage and make it work. When you invest right in your marriage, you will get very good returns on your investment.      
If you have been blessed by this post, I will encourage you to visit My Book Store, it's an online book store that contains all the life changing books that have been written by me and inspired by the Holy Spirit and are based solely on the truth of the Bible. These books have blessed my life and the lives of many who have read them greatly and I guarantee they will bless yours too. 
When you buy a book from My Book Store you are getting very blessed by the value of the content in the book you have bought which is beyond it's money value, and you help us generate income to be able to reach more lives and touch more marriages. You help us generate income to meet up with advert cost and subscription cost for some of our paid platforms. You sow a seed into someone's marriage for the better and the Lord God Almighty will watch over your seed and cause it to germinate and produce fruits for you in multiples of what you have sown in Jesus name.


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