I thank God for another opportunity to share a word with you on this blog. I know it’s been a while that you have read from me and I apologize again for the break. It’s been a year of sowing seeds for me, I am either working on a book or setting up other platforms. I appreciate your patient, your concern and I pray the Lord bless you real good.
I have been thinking on the next line of marriage discussions that we can learn from on this blog, and it came to mind that there are other aspects of our marital life that we need to look into. One of such areas is the relationship between our marriage and our assignment as parents? Well I guess if there was no relationship between marriage and parenting, God will not order our lives such that we have to get married before having children. And then we noticed in Malachi 2:13-14 that God said He made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit because He was seeking godly offspring from their marriage union.
One of the many fruits that is expected of our marriage is the godly children we have been able to produce for God from the union. The likelihood that a godly marriage will produce godly children is high, even though there are few exceptions, mostly owing to the fact that the parents have neglected their parenting assignment for other concerns. But it is a lot easier to train up children produced in an ideal marriage unit of husband and wife than to have to train your children as a single parent.
I don’t mean to say that single parents can’t make successful parents, but whatever work we get to do, the task is much easier when two share the responsibility than when one person has to bear the burden alone. With that said, we will take a look at who owns what responsibility as parents raising up godly offspring that the Lord seeks.
For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
It is always assumed that the training of a child is the responsibility of the mother. It is assumed that she spends more time with them and so she should be saddled with the task of training and bringing them up. And even though this tradition feels quite convenient to run with more so that the men are assumed to spend more time outside of the home working hard to make a living and cater for the financial needs of the family, but this is not the order with God. In my search of the Bible, I have not come across any portion of the Bible where God penalized or punished a mother for the sins of her children and this for me is a wake-up call for the fathers/husbands.
So while we read in Proverbs 31:15 of a wife of noble character waking up early to provide food for her family and portions for her maid servants and we also read in Proverbs 31:21 that a wife of noble character is not afraid for her household when it snows because they are all clothed in scarlet, we read in Job 1:5 of a wealthy man called Job who feared God and shunned evil and who would wait for his children’s feasting period to be over and would call them together and purify them and sacrifice to God on their behalf thinking perhaps they may have sinned against the Lord while feasting. This sounds like training to me. So from these passages we read of a wife/mother taking care of the well-being of her household and we also read of a father purifying his children and so to say training them and sacrificing to God on their behalf.
So we understand that a wife/mother has been formed by God to have a heart of compassion and love so that with her inherent love for her children she can take good care of them and ensure that they are well taken care of on all fronts. But from the way a man is formed, he holds the authority in the home and with that authority comes the assignment to train and instruct his household in the way of the Lord. No wonder it was Prophet Eli who was punished by God over the sins of his sons and not Eli’s wife in 1 Samuel 2-3.
Job understood the importance of having his children in right standing before the Lord and so he didn't allow his pursuit of wealth or his busy schedule as a great and wealthy man to prevent him from purifying his children always and sacrificing to God on their behalf after each feasting period. And so Job had such a good record before God that God had to make a boast about him before satan.
One of the criteria to meet to be eligible to be an overseer of the church is for the man to manage his family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect (1 Timothy 3:4-5). This sounds like training your children well to me. One of your primary assignment as a man is to train your children well and when you have proved yourself faithful in this assignment, you show God your readiness to take up bigger task for Him.
But like I mentioned earlier, the task of training a child is a lot easier when both parents are involved, Ecclesiastes 4:9 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.” When a husband/father is carrying out the training of the children and the wife/mother is lending her support and enforcing instructions given by the father (her husband), then they get better results for their labor over the lives of their children, and so they grow to see their children become like arrows in the hands of warriors to them.
I pray that this little piece blesses homes and marriages and set records straight for many couples and they now understand that when it comes to parenting, the father holds more of the responsibility than the mother. Just as in other assignments that the man carries out in marriage, he owns the responsibility to train the children and the wife owns the responsibility to support her husband on this task. Don’t try to contradict each other in training your children. As a wife, if you feel the pattern of training is too firm or not firm enough, pray to God first and discuss your concerns in private with your husband. Never go against him publicly as it doesn’t have good effects on the training you are trying to instill in your children. And remember, a house that is divided in itself cannot stand.
If you have enjoyed reading this and have been blessed by it, you might want to consider visiting My Book Store here for life changing books inspired by the Holy Spirit and written by me. These are books written based on the truth of the Bible, and are guaranteed to make a huge and positive difference in every area of your life. They are worth more than their money value and they will bless your life greatly. If you buy now, you will enjoy great discounts on purchase. But nevertheless, you will always have a seasoned word from God on this blog that will bless your life absolutely for free.
In my next post, we will consider some of the yields that accrue to your marriage investment and if possible get a story to learn from. Until then, remain blessed.