Love Shouldn't Make You Weak

Genesis 3:1-6, 9

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desiring for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  

But the Lord called to the man, “Where are you?”

Hello people, I hope I have not been gone too long. In today’s post I want to share something from the Bible. I hope that the Lord will breathe on today’s post and cause it to make a big impact in your life and marriage in Jesus name.

There are huge lessons to learn from the story of the fall in Genesis 3 and it’s common to think that Eve caused the fall of mankind. Looking at this story from face value one would conclude that it was all the fault of Eve that man began to sin, but one question that comes to mind is that “what did Adam do to prevent the fall?” I have shared on this Bible passage before and my outlook to this scripture hasn't changed much.

I have seen a handful of marriages where the husband and the wife act independently of each other. But the truth of the matter is that the consequences of each action whether by the wife or husband impacts on both lives. When God said that they are no longer two, but one, in flesh and spirit, He was not making an erroneous declaration. For example, there is no way a man can commit adultery and it will not have its negative impact on his wife and in the same vein, there is no way a wife can default in her role as a wife that its impact will not be felt by the husband.

Going back to the story of the fall, the first marriage on earth; when the serpent was going to approach the marriage unit, he entered through the rear, he spoke to the wife rather than the husband who was the head. Satan knew the order of things, he understood that the man was the head and if there was anyone to meet on matters that has to do with the two, it should be the husband. But he went through the wife; the wife who was designed to be the support but totally disregarded the fact that she was the support.

When God gave his instruction, He spoke to Adam even before Eve came into the scene. All that she knew of the instructions of God to man was told to her by her husband Adam. Now an intruder coming to make enquiries on what she only had second hand information on should have earned a response like “Go meet my husband, he knows better than I do on this,” but instead she assumed the lead without full conviction on the matter at hand and we all know the end result of that.

But the bigger picture in this story is “What did Adam do to prevent the fall?” The Bible tells us that Adam was with Eve when the serpent came to speak to her. The whole scene play out before him and he did absolutely nothing. “Eve gave Adam of the fruit and he also ate of it,” is what the Bible records. So while Adam who was the custodian of the instructions from God was observing, Eve was taking the lead and he did nothing. When people say sin came into the world as a result of the sins of Eve, I say that sin came into the world as a result of the weakness of Adam.

The fact that a man loves his wife does not translate to the fact that he should stand by and watch while she makes mistakes; it does not translate to the fact that she is allowed to be the head of the home. As a man you should love your wife sacrificially and unconditionally yet be firm as the head over your wife. Love and weakness are not synonymous to each other.

I love the part of the story where God comes into the garden; when the Lord approached the couples He didn’t call Eve to account, but the Bible tells us in Genesis 3:9 that God called to the man. It was the man that God held accountable. It was the man who was the custodian of the instruction and the head over his wife that God called to account.

As couples and intending couples we need to have some issues properly placed in our minds. First, as a wife when you are going wrong bear in mind that your husband will call you to order, that does not mean he doesn’t love you but he is accountable to God over the issues of your home and marriage. He is the head and responsible for the wellbeing of his family. As a wife I understand that it hurts when your husband scolds you, but it’s good to be positive about it rather than proving points that are not healthy for your marriage union.  

As a husband please note that loving your wife is key to the success of your marriage, God’s rules to the husband in marriage is to love his wife as himself and as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-30), but love shouldn’t make you weak. Love should make you call wrong right and then call right wrong. You are the first line of accountability when it comes to the issues and affairs of your home and marriage. I implore you to love but yet be firm and disciplined and please don't abuse your wife in the process.