She is Really Angry

Hello beautiful people, I believe we all had a great week and looking forward to a restful weekend and by the special grace of God we will all have a beautiful weekend to the glory of God.

So we will be looking at a real life issue on marriage, a story that I believe we will be able to learn a thing or two from. This is a story that is just as real as you and I and so we can relate to it.

Issue

I have been married for about 5yrs, and it has been a mixed experience for me. I won’t say that I am a happily married woman, but at least I have a good job as a hairdresser and that keeps me busy and distracted from my marriage issues. I spend the large chunk of my time in my hairdressing salon and I am there with my children so that keeps me from the misery of my husband coming home late or not paying attention to me as his wife. But what I won’t tolerate is my husband relegating his financial responsibility to me because he thinks I have money to bear the burden. He won’t pay the children’s school fees because he knows that if he doesn't, I will pay up the fees to avoid embarrassment, and now he is avoiding paying for the remaining part of the required school wears for the children because he feels also that I will pay it. I have reminded him on the demand from the school to get the prescribed school uniform for the children on the set days that they need to wear these uniforms but he just keeps avoiding that discussion with the mindset that over time I will go and pay for those school wears for the children to avoid embarrassment as it's always the case. We have quarreled severally on this attitude of his but he just won't change. But on this particular school wear issue I have made up my mind that I won’t pay for the remaining set of uniforms for the children and will continue to wear the wrong set of uniforms for them to school unless their father does his responsibility and buy it for them. My husband works and makes money and I have no idea what he uses his money for if he can’t even take care of his own children’s need.

Response

I thank God that in His design for human kind every child has two parents. This is to ensure that the child has all the adequate care that he/she needs. So if a parent is failing in his/her responsibility, the other parent can fill in. In all, the child should have adequate care and support till he/she stops to be a child. Although I do not excuse what your husband is doing by not providing for his family, but two wrongs has never been known to make a right. And when you get to give God the report of your stewardship here on earth, your husband is not a good enough excuse for failing.

If you are not making enough or you genuinely don’t have to give for the upkeep of your children, that will be another issue entirely. But God who is mindful of your situation, and knows what lies ahead of you, has provided a way of escape by giving you work to do and enabling you to earn good income to sustain you while He handles the situation of your husband so that you don’t live in lack. What message are you then sending to God if you insist that you won’t take care of the needs of your children because it is your husband’s responsibility and you shouldn’t be the one handling his responsibility for him? Have you considered the fact that it could be that it’s because you have become the burden bearer in the home that the Lord is blessing you and prospering the works of your hands.

Deuteronomy 8:18 says, it is the Lord who gives us the ability to make wealth; it’s not your power nor your ability that has helped you this far, so honor God with what He has blessed your life with and take care of the children He has kept under your watch to care for without waiting on any one to do what God has blessed you to do. Your children do not have to suffer for the sins of their father.

The hard truth in this matter is that there is no amount of rebellion and fight that can make your husband own up to his responsibility as the breadwinner of his family unless the Lord touches his heart to do what he is suppose to do. Trying to force your husband to perform his responsibility might only destroy the peace of your marriage. If you have complained about his negligence to the financial needs of the home and he has not made any effort to adjust, then more complain will not make him change. If you’ve applied an approach and it has not yielded the desired result, then change your approach.

Since you have spoken to your husband and nothing has change, then cease to speak to him on the issue anymore and go on your knees. Fight this battle on your knees in prayers to God. Proverbs 26:2 says the heart of kings and princes are in the hands of the Lord, and like a water course He directs them as He wishes, this includes the heart of your husband. So what you can’t do, God can do and so please let Him.

The secret about this is that when your husband abandons his responsibility, then he is risking the fact that God will stop listening to his prayers (Malachi 2:13-14); and when God stops to hear his prayers, it’s just a matter of time for things to starts falling apart for him and I am sure you are not looking forward to that. The Bible says a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever. And then we can ask ourselves, what has God got to do with an unbeliever; the prayers of a sinner is an abomination to God.

But when you join your husband in abandoning your responsibility of caring for your children, you are also as guilty as your husband. So you should not be surprised when God stops to listen to your prayers too. But by the special grace of God, the Lord will uphold you to do what is right before Him always in Jesus name.