What is Most Important to You in Marriage? Love, Trust, Time or Sex (4)

Hello wonderful prince and princesses of the greatest King of all, I really thank God for our lives and the grace to be among the living today. It’s always so easy to take God for granted for His grace and goodness in our lives, but when we encounter someone who is in dear need of what we count as ordinary and of no consequences, it humbles us and makes us realize how favored we are to be so blessed by God. But I urge you not to wait for that encounter that will force you to your knees before thanking God for His goodness and mercy in your lives.

I want to apologize for taking two days off, there has been some domestic issues that I urgently needed to pay attention to or should I say that, these issues have been causing some form of distractions in my life, but I bless God that I have been able to sort them out and to the glory of God I am back to serve God and serve you.

So we will look at the last of the four elements we have been considering in order to determine which is most important for the success of our individual marriage. So far we have looked at the role of love, trust and time in marriage and lastly we will look at the role of sex in marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

This is my favorite Scripture when I have to write about sex and marriage, and this is so because just these three verses of scripture are loaded with information that is vital for the success of marriage.

Paul describes sex in marriage as a marital duty from a husband to his wife and from a wife to her husband, and I am so smiling now, wondering how such a relaxing and love and pleasure loaded activity can actually be a duty. But that is just how good and stressless God is to us His children. So the first thing to know about sex in marriage is that it is a duty that must be fulfilled, with no excuse except for the purpose of devoting oneself to prayer and it must be for a short period of time and with mutual consent.

But sex plays other vital roles in marriage asides being a marital duty. Sex in marriage helps to foster communication in marriage. I can’t imagine a husband and wife who would engage in sexual relationship and still get to keep malice with each other. It’s almost not possible.

Sex in marriage is a very convenient way for couples to settle quarrels and mend fences of misunderstandings between them without words. They don’t have to determine who is right or wrong, they don’t even have to apologize, once they get together apology takes the form of action and not words.

I really do understand and appreciate God when He instructed through Paul that the man and his wife should not deprive one another except for mutual consent. This is so that a lot of unhealthy gap in the marriage can be closed up effortlessly and communication can flow smoothly between the husband and his wife and bond of unity between them should remain strong and unshaken.

It’s very bad to sex-starve your spouse, be it that you are the wife or the husband. You are not teaching any lesson or making any point or promoting love and unity in your marriage by sex-starving your spouse. You are only committing a sin by depriving your spouse of your body when God says you should not and if for any reason your spouse engages in extra-marital affairs, you would have caused him/her to sin too.

If you have any issue with your spouse settle it first on your knees, then settle it with a right attitude and crown it all with a gentle and loving talk where you let your spouse know that he/she has done wrong. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

So we have looked at all four elements under consideration we think each one would prefer to have for their marriage to be successful. We have looked at love, trust, time and sex. I want to state that the success of a marriage is not limited to just these four elements. As a matter of fact money as broken a lot of homes; some people regard money as very vital for the success of a marriage. Some others are very mindful of home-keep and food; some men get irritated by a wife who cannot cook good food or take proper or adequate care of the home.

But for me, I desire a total package; I desire love, trust, time and sex for my marriage to function the way I want it to. But for me to desire all these and more, I should be ready to give all these and more. Like I understand marriage to be, it’s what I invest in it that I will reap from it, and what I will reap from it comes in multiples of what I have invested in it. And when the yield is not as expected, I pray and let God lead me to areas of my marital life where adjustments are required and then He fixes the rest.

In this same manner, whatever you think is vital in your marriage is what you need to put in it the most. If you want the love most, then you give the love most and whatever you give comes to you in multiple fold of what you put in. You then need to settle down and think this matter through properly as you take your pick. May the Lord bless our marriages in Jesus name.