Discussing Practical Issues 4

Good day people of God, how are you doing this beautiful Tuesday, I believe by the special grace of God we are all fine. The Lord will always keep watch over us and perfect all that concerns us in Jesus name. 

I hope you have been enjoying the blog posts as much as I have been; so much lessons to learn and so much has been revealed and I really do bless the Lord for opening the truth of His word to us. 

So today, it’s going to be another story day, and I pray and hope it’s a story that will we can learn from and it will make a great impact on our lives and homes to the glory of God alone in Jesus name. 

Issue

I have been married for about two years now and I loved my wife with every fiber of strength in me. I turned my back on my family and avoided my parents and siblings just because my wife’s pastor asked me to beware of my family as they do not mean me well. I served my wife like a mini god and followed every advice she gave me like a brainless man. I relocated to another country with her even though I didn’t know what the future held for me there just to make her happy. I did everything in this world to please my wife but I am just waking up to the reality of how foolish I have been. In this place I can barely feed myself not to talk of providing for my wife and child. Life has been so hard on me that now I have to run back to my family (parents and siblings) for their forgiveness and assistance. These were that I was made to believe didn't mean well for me. They are the ones the Lord has now used in coming to my aid to ensure that my suffering ends. To say my wife has destroyed my life is just to put it mildly. She does not cook, she does not clean the house, she does not even have time for the child she gave birth do. All my wife does is sit with her phone and chat on social media, aside the fact that she pays good attention to her academics. The big problem I have in this marriage is that my wife was trained to believe that she as the wife should be the one calling the shots and whatever she says must be accepted and adhered to unchallenged. Her mother claims she calls the shots in her house and the same should also apply in her children’s homes. That I will not take from her or her mum and the earlier she knows that the better for her. She is a worker in church, but I am not sure if truly that church is making any positive impact on her. I have prayed and I am still praying and I believe that it is only the fear of God that is keeping me sane and married. But in truth I am a frustrated husband and don’t know for how long I can cope with this.

Response

First I want to salute your effort so far as a husband. The only way that you can effectively attain success in your marriage is by loving your wife unconditionally and that you say you have been doing. I also appreciate the prayer aspect of your narration and I believe that the Lord will uphold your marriage and your home to His glory alone in Jesus name. 

1 Corinthian 11:3 reads, “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,” and Ephesians 5:23 reads, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is Savior.” No matter what obtains between your wife’s mother and father, what the Bible says is that husband is the head of his wife and not the other way round. This you need to register in the mind of your wife in a loving manner. There is a difference between loving your wife and worshiping or idolizing her; what God instructs the husband is to love his wife and not worship her. Exact your authority as the head in your marriage and do so in a loving manner. 

The error you have made in all of this narration is to allow your wife talk you into alienating yourself from your family; no man is an island and we need one another to survive. I don’t dispute that evil exist between siblings and there are cases of extreme sibling rivalry, but as a child of God you have the cover of the blood of Jesus over your life. No one can harm you except the Lord permits; God is your ever present help in times of trouble. The Bible say we should test all spirits, you don’t just accept any man of God into your life because he says he is a man of God. There are many fake men of God on the face of the earth and you just don’t accept any kind of doctrine into your life just because he is your wife’s pastor. You need to pray to God to reveal to you the true identity of whoever is coming into your life in the name of God. You need to test all spirit in line with what applies in the Bible. A man who put an enmity between you and your siblings or parents is not a true man of God to me. The Bible preaches love and not hatred.

Finally I will tell you that there is no marriage without its challenges, you are new in marriage and this is the learning phase where you build the foundation of your life together with your wife. This is the time to let your wife know who you truly are, express your likes and dislikes to her and let her know what you can tolerate and those things that pisses you off; and this you need to do in a very loving manner. You need to firm up as the head and still love sacrificially as the head. You should support her well now that you mentioned something to do with academics and help her grow in her life’s pursuit. You will achieve much when you both pursue your lives goals in twos and not individually. There is power in unity.

Life is never a smooth road my brother, there are times of dry ground and times of rich vegetation so this time of famine in your life will not last as long as you hold unto to God, pray and follow His directions for your life. Learn to hear from the Lord so that you don’t miss that time and opportunity that will bring about the financial turnaround in your life. Learn to be a giver; cultivate the habit of sowing seeds, no matter how little, they will germinate and produce fruits for you in multiples of what was sown.

Don’t stop loving your wife, the changes you desire to see in her life can only happen through love and prayer. Be a loving head over your wife and love her unconditionally as Christ is a loving head over the church. May the Lord bless your home richly in Jesus name.