I Was Beaten Black & Blue By My Husband While Pregnant

To the glory of God we just have a day to go and in about 36 hours or less we will be jubilating into another year to the glory of God. And it’s the usual custom to have a quick stock-take of the year rounding up and where to make amends for the new year. This is also a time of new year resolutions of which we hardly make up to 50 percent of our resolutions by the end of half year. I can remember making a resolution this time last year that I will share a message on my blog every day. I didn’t make good that promise until the last six weeks of the year. But I sure do pray for grace this year in Jesus name.

Today I will share another gist and I hope to share another tomorrow by the special grace of God and plead that you give me the first day of next year off and then we will resume talks on the 2^nd of January by the special grace of the living God. I am excited and that’s no lie.

Issue

I had an argument with my husband, and just as I was trying to prove my point, he took the cable wire of one of the electronics in the house and beat the living day out of me, not minding the fact that I am pregnant and without a thought for our young child. I am now wondering if this is what I have to cope with in this marriage because I have a good feeling of just calling it a day with this marriage and taking a walk. What manner of man beats a pregnant woman, not to talk of his pregnant wife?

Response

Before I pronounce you a victim of domestic violence, it is important to understand what was the tone of your argument between you and your husband? Two points came to mind on this issue and I pray that you read this with an open mind and with a will to learn and make corrections where necessary.

The first thing I want to say is that it is your responsibility to avoid arguments with your husband. Roman 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone," the first person of everyone should be your spouse. So you should make every effort to live at peace first with your spouse and then everyone.

The secret to making this happen is prayers, and your prayer focus should be that the Lord will inhabit your husband’s life and make your husband’s life His dwelling place. You will also pray that the Lord should take over your husband’s senses and his reasoning ability such that whatever decisions your husband makes will be decisions that God made for you through your husband. When you have prayed this prayer, and you believe that God hears and answers prayers, you will then begin to submit to your husband knowing that your submission to your husband is submission to God who resides in your husband and controls all the activities of his life.

When you do this, you will seldom have a course to argue with your husband, not to talk of having an argument that will lead to him beating you black and blue.

Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Proverbs 18:2, 6

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

A fool’s lips brings him strife, and his mouth invites a beating

Proverbs 21:23

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

The biggest mistake you made that I believe resulted in the beating is you trying to prove your point. I can tell you for free that that is not necessary and so uncalled for. Quite a number of people will advise you to speak up so you are not taken for a fool, but in truth it’s the other way round. Silence in the face of argument makes you wise and not foolish. The Bible says that “a fool’s lips brings him strife and his mouth invites beating for him.” This I am tempted to say might be the case in your situation.

I am not in any way excusing your husband’s barbaric and heartless outpour of rage and anger, but it would have been better if he didn’t have you as an excuse to be sinfully foolish. God says he hates a violent man (Malachi 2:16) and your husband would have exonerated himself by avoiding temptation by giving his emotions the power to control his actions. But that said it’s a solution we seek and its solution will find in Jesus name.

This is not a situation that cannot be changed if you and your husband are willing to do what is right. I with plead with you to forgive your husband and then work for the success of your marriage. It is great wisdom if as a wife you understand the times and know when to pray rather than talk. So far you have applied the technique of talking and proving your point in solving issues with your husband and what has resulted from that is beating so it is important to try another method for a more positive result. Pray and pray and pray. Pray for him and pray to always get a positive response from him.

When you have an issue to sort out with your husband, if he demands an explanation, give him an explanation otherwise just be quiet. If he is doing something that you are not pleased with, pray about it, and then speak with him about it in a manner that will fetch you a positive response. Check your husband’s mood before presenting your grievances and always keep your emotions in check when you are upset. Avoid speaking to your husband when you are angry. Always pray and apply wisdom. May the Lord bless your home in Jesus name.