The Marriage Series (3)

It’s another beautiful day, and by the special grace of God we continue on our marriage series, and I trust God that many lives will be changed by what will be learned in the course of this series to the glory of God alone.

Genesis 2:18, 21-25

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of the man.”

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

So we will continue with our foundational scripture on marriage found in Genesis 2. So far we have learned that the woman was not created independent of the man like all the other male and female living creatures that God made. And there was a good reason in God’s mind when He made it so at the beginning. This then makes us understand why God says in a number of places in the Bible that the man and his wife are one both in flesh and in Spirit. This was a mind blowing revelation for me, and if you have not read that piece of article, I will encourage you to do so as it is still not farfetched on the blog.

The second lesson we have learned is that when God made the woman out of the man, He didn’t put her in a place and ask the man to go fetch her out. Rather the Lord took the woman He had made from the man and for the man and handed her to him. And so we understand that God will not put a man through the trouble of going to look for a wife for himself, rather the Lord who knows the woman He created from each man and for each man will bring each woman to the man He created her for at the right time. When we run ahead of God to look for a spouse for ourselves, the chances are there that one will make mistakes and run into trouble. The important thing we need to do is prepare ourselves and makes ourselves ready for the marriage journey ahead. When the Lord sees our preparedness for the journey, He will bring the partner we are to journey with our way. He alone is able to carry out this task without error because He knows how He had ordained it from the beginning.

So the last lesson the Lord will have us learn before we leave this foundational scripture and move on to the roles of a man and a wife in marriage is when the wife stops to be a woman and becomes a wife. Interestingly when God created a woman she was a woman, when God brought her to Adam she was still a woman. But when Adam decided it was time to leave father and mother, she became a wife.

And this brings us to the issue of preparedness for marriage. When a man decides to take a wife, he must have been prepared and ready to leave father and mother. Until you have gotten yourself ready to take on the responsibility of a husband then don’t bother to make that woman your wife. In fact don’t bother to go searching for the wife, God will bring the woman your way when He sees and knows that you are ready to be a husband.

What beats my imagination in today’s world, and one of the reasons why I believe the Lord dearly wants to the change the adulterated orientation of marriage is that many men have married for the very wrong reasons. There are so many men who are not ready to be husbands, but have gone searching for women to marry. Some marry women because they see the lady has a good job  and have seen her as a money bag and a means of income without labor. These men without honor have resolved to living off their wives and some to the point of defrauding her. Some other men in the bid to gain citizenship to other countries have entered into unwanted marriages and have gotten their fingers so badly burnt.

This same misconception applies to the woman, so many women have seen the act of not been married as a stigma that they need to get rid of and so they offer themselves cheap to men who don’t deserve them and entered into hell holes in the name of marriage. A lot of ladies just like the men marry because the man is rich and a means of income without labor. I watched a video clip on facebook where a survey was carried out in Nigeria and women where asked if they would rather marry a rich man riding a Range Rover jeep who treats them badly or a loving and caring husband who is poor and rides tricycles. To make shock of close to ten ladies interviewed, only one of them said she would rather marry a poor but loving and caring husband. For the rest of the pack, money comes first before their peace of mind and so you shouldn't be alarmed at the rate of domestic violence and even death in marriages. These are some of the many issues the Lord wants to change about marriage.

Whether you are a man or a woman, all that you need to do is show God your readiness to carry on the responsibility of being a husband or a wife and He will direct the right spouse to you, or direct you to the right spouse. God is not a partial God; He won’t give to one and not give to the other. But of what use a quarrelsome wife to a man in dear need of help. If God is sure you are not well trained to be a wife, you can be sure he won’t hand you to a husband to be his help. And if God knows that you are not ready for the responsibility of a husband, then you can be sure He will not give you a wife to maltreat rather than love. But if on your volition, you take a woman and make her your wife then you can’t hold God responsible for the outcome of such a union.

It is very true that at whatever point your invite God into your messy marriage situation He will come in and turn things around, but when we speak of the foundation, there is God’s pattern and you will save yourself a lot of stress when you follow His pattern.

A number of people have lost their lives to messy marriage, but we can’t blame God for an issue we didn’t consult Him on before we walked into the evil trap. So if we are dealing with this issue from the foundation, this is the foundation: When God sees that it is no longer good for you to be alone, He will bring to you the woman that He has made from you and for you. In order to take on the responsibility of a husband it is important for you to leave father and mother and cleave to the woman God brings to you. Then she is no longer a woman but a wife.

As a woman please it is important that you are sure that the man you are cleaving to has left father and mother to journey with you, and it is important for you also to leave all distractions behind and focus on your assignment of a suitable helper in the life of your husband. This is a precautionary step to avoiding future stress in the union.

 And so this is the third in the series on marriage and we have taken valuable points from the foundational scriptures on marriage. I assure you that these are lessons that if adhered to, will be a total turnaround for the better in many upcoming marriages. And they are valuable lessons that existing marriages can use it remolding itself if those in it are willing and ready to make a change in themselves and in the right direction.

In the next post we move on the rules for the husband and wife in marriage. These are fundamental rules that are sure to bring and retain peace, unity and love in any marriage. They are simple rules, but we have found them too cumbersome to follow and so we live in a miserable marriage just because of disobedience. Please stay on with me on this marriage series, invite your friends to join in reading and learning from this series and teachings and together let’s begin to take steps to positive changes in our marriages, homes and societies.