Getting Practical With Marriage Issues (3)

It’s another glorious opportunity to share the truth of the word of God with the wonderful people of God. Your responses have been encouraging I must say and you are well appreciated.

Still continuing in discussing practical issues in marriage and here is an issue that has affected a lot of married women, most especially those without helping hands or maids in the home. The economic climate we are in, in this present day and time is such that unless by the grace of God, it is almost impossible for both spouses not to get into income generating activities. As it is, both the husband and the wife have to work and earn income to be able to financially sustain the family.

With that said, the wife in addition to her income generating activity or work which in most cases take the priority on the list of the activities that struggles for her time, she has to take care of the children, cook for them, monitor their hygiene which might include bathing them, doing their laundry, ensuring nails are cut, hair well-kept etc. Then she still has other house chores to do which will also include house cleaning, toilet washing, dish washing, taking care of the kitchen and so on. Then not to forget children’s education support activities, school’s home-work, class projects etc for each child at different level of education. I hope as you read this, you try to use your imagination to figure out the picture I am trying to present to you.

Then in some cases you have the wife who has all these of the above listed burdens to carry still being the breadwinner of the home. The husband is unable to make much in terms of financial income though it might be a temporary situation or an effort not yet yielding the expected returns, but still cannot and would not put a helping hand in the upkeep of the home and family because he has concluded that it is not his responsibility to do that. In some other cases it may be the husband’s ego in action, or so that people or family/relatives will not see him doing a woman’s stuff in the house thereby terming him a weakling (which is predominant in our culture). And in still other cases it may be share laziness on the husband’s part.

I can’t imagine why and how a woman should not be expected to age early and wear-out fast if she has all of these on her to do list on a daily basis without any form of help. You might conclude that she employs a helping hand, but remember she is the breadwinner, and that is an additional monthly expenses that she has to bear with no addition to the current income generation.

I have always written on this blog that the woman holds the responsibility to build her home, this is an assignment given to her by God and she will report to God on how she has feared on this task. But this same wonderful God has instructed the husband to love his wife as himself in the order with which Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25-30). If the husband will be fulfilling this call of God on his life and obeying carefully this instruction he has been given by God then he will not sit and watch his wife burn herself out in order to be his wife. It is highly insensitive for any man not to make any meaningful contribution to the growth of the home and family. As a man there should be something weighty that you as the head of the home in contributing to the growth of the home otherwise you are as good as an unbeliever.

1 Timothy 5:8 says “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” We have always termed the providing mentioned in this scripture to mean money or related it solely to financial provision, but thank God the Bible did not say “provide financially”, it only said provide. So the provide can come in the form of support, care, love, money, helping hand, encouragement, watchfulness and many other provides that there can be to make the home comfortable for those that God has given to you to care for as head of the home. So if the man will be true to obeying this instruction of God on his life, then there are more provides required of him than just financial provision.

If he is unable to provide financially for his family then he should be able to provide encouragement, support, helping hands, love and many other forms of provision that will foster the growth of the family and make him truly the head that God has called him to be. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says “Two are better that one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no-one to help him up.” It interesting what the Bible says about a man who has no-one to help him when he falls, such is the case of the wife who has been left to carry all the burdens of the home all alone. In no time at all this beautiful wife will completely fade out if care is not taken. If a man would claim that his wife is his suitable helper and so should be there to help him if and when he needs help and in whatever way or form he needs the help, then such a man should be reminded that the beautiful helper also requires ample love and care which the husband has been instructed by God to give to her unconditionally and without limit. As a man you would do yourself a whole lot of God when you learn to care for, love and encourage your wife because in so doing, you can be sure she’ll serve you well.   

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