Wednesday 16 March 2016

The Application Of Godly Wisdom in Marriage (4)

It’s been a very revealing and blessed time this past few days as we try to learn from the Bible on the application of God given wisdom in our marriages. I have learnt deep lessons in this series of messages and I trust the Lord that those who have read these past few posts on this blog have learnt deep lessons too.
Just when I thought we have touched well enough on this issue of godly wisdom in marriage and I wait on God for the next thing He’ll lay upon my heart to deliver on this blog, I realized there is still yet one thing to discuss before rounding off on the issue.
From what has been discussed to say, it is easy to wonder how the wife is to express herself when she is not happy in the marriage. There are times when a wife feels used and bored with her marriage, most especially when it seems she is the only one giving in the marriage without getting anything in return. In such a case what should she do? There are many cases in the world today where the wife is the one who goes to work and make the money that the husband spends. She is the one that will still have to come back home to work and ensure the home is properly run and the man who practically does nothing is well taken care off. Now is she to continue to put up with all these in the name of applying Godly wisdom in order to keep her marriage? These questions are the things I want to trust God to answer for us so we can have a clearer picture of what is required of the wife when it comes to marriage.
The first thing I want to state clearly before we go any further is that for anyone to desire a successful marriage, you first need to desire a close relationship with Jesus Christ. Without Jesus any self-effort at the making of a successful marriage will only lead to frustration, and birth trouble in your marriage. Before you marry your husband, you first need to marry Jesus Christ and ensure that you are consistently yielding to the leading voice of the Holy Spirit in your life. Then when this has been ensured, we can then move on in the pursuit of a successful marriage.
When as a wife you are tired of some negative traits that your husband possesses, an example such as a practically lazy husband or a mean and surly husband, know for sure that you cannot make him change either by nagging, fighting or putting extra effort in providing him with money. This will only lead to more frustration on your part and divorce might be inevitable which is not the will of God for you or your marriage.
The only possible thing you can do is to pray and trust the Lord to make the possible changes in the life of your husband that will bring you joy in your marriage. Without allowing God to make the desired changes in the life of your husband, nothing you do will yield positive results. But a lot of people would say that they have really prayed and prayed for a long time and yet they are not seeing any meaningful changes. The question I would ask next is: What are you carrying in your mind as you go to God in prayers? Because if you harbour bitterness or any form of resentment in your mind as you go to pray, then God will first need to deal with you before attending to the case of your husband or attempting to answer your prayers.
Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:21-26 that when you go to offer sacrifices to God and you remember that your brother has something against you, leave the gift and go and be reconciled to your bother before coming to make your sacrifice. So this tells us that not all prayers are acceptable to God. When you want God to change your husband’s character in anyway, then such a prayer must be done in love.
Then you ask again, is it possible to be angry with your spouse and still genuinely pray for him in love without doing so falsely? Now anger is an emotion which you should have control over. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "God has not given us the spirit timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-control." Be angry for a while but be quick to shake off the anger and proceed to the altar of praying with a clear mind of love as you hand over that which you want God to change in the life of your husband to Him, and you can be sure that it is only a matter of time before you begin to see your husband displaying positive traits which are a result of your prayers being answered.

1 Samuel 25:23-25
When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: “My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what you servant has to say. May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name – his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent.

Going back to the story of Abigail, she is the ideal example of what I am trying to get across in this post. Abigail must have had to put up with her husband’s mean and surly attitude for God knows how many years, yet she willing and without any reservation pleaded her husband’s course before David who had vowed to destroy him and his household. She never challenged her husband or even bothered to ask him why he responded to David’s request in a rude and negative manner. She didn’t have to because she was aware of who her husband was. When she was going over to mediate his course she didn’t even bother to inform (1 Samuel 25:19), but she did what she had to do as his suitable helper.
So in conclusion, I want us the wives to know that we don’t have to forever endure our husband’s bad attitude but seek a change of that attitude to something positively better. We are agents of change in the lives of our husbands place strategically in their lives to constantly stand in the gap for them before God in prayers until we see the positive change we seek to happen.
For several years my husband was a lover of cigarette and this was a habit I opposed to and didn’t like. I complained bitterly about it and on many occasions it led to arguments between us. When I realized I was not winning I resorted to prayers and totally stopped complaining about his smoking habit. As a matter of fact I stopped betraying any emotions about his smoking and I just blanked myself from it and continually prayed about it instead. About two and a half years after I stopped complaining and started praying he gave up the smoking of cigarette.
This is the practical example of what we need to keep doing in the lives of our husband and we can be sure the Lord will make our home a very peaceful haven for us. A place to always enjoy and not endure. May the Lord bless our homes. 

 Books I authored are now available in hard copy. You can get details of the books and order a copy by just clicking here or by clicking on the book of your choice. They are also available on createspace.com, links are provided under each book title. Get copies for yourselves and sow into the lives of your loved ones. These books are guaranteed to make big and positive impact in your life and that of your loved ones. You and yours are blessed in Jesus Name.

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