I have really missed sharing a word from God on this blog, as I had given a word at the beginning of this year that for every day, there shall be a word from God here. Still had to take some days off for some urgent assignment. But not to worry, the word of God will still be shared on a very high frequency on this blog to the glory of God alone. And I am convinced that the word of God though this blog is touching lives and healing homes and I will just beg you not to keep it to yourself, share the blessing with friends and loved ones and those you know who need to hear it. Jesus said the harvest is full but the labourers are few, so let’s join hands and be a formidable workforce for Jesus. We will be blessed in doing so in Jesus Name.
In today’s post I want to share a story, it’s a true life incidence and as a matter of fact the pastor of the church this couple attend is still trusting God on a lasting solution to the matter. I believe by God’s grace it will end in praise. I want us all to read and learn from it. May the Lord bless our homes.
Issue
I am having serious issues with my wife and I am really frustrated by her stubbornness. She just will not change. When I married her she was not educated to the tertiary level, and her level of exposure was and still is really on the low. Initially I didn’t mind because I thought that by the time I moved her from the village to the city and she would see the way things are done there and will learn and improve on herself. But I was and still am very wrong on that assumption. She does not know how to keep the home, she is dirty and always untidy. Her personal hygiene is very low and she just does not know how to make herself look good or make the home look presentable. I tried to teach her and even bought her some cosmetics, but still no improvement. I got her a home tutor to help me put her through on how to be a presentable woman but that also has not worked. She is a bad cook. As a matter of fact out of frustration I have resorted to beating her like a child, I don’t know what else to do to make my wife into the kind of wife that I can show and display to the world. I travel abroad a lot, I see my friends’ wives, and see other women look good and presentable and I just wonder why my own wife has just refused to learn and measure up to the standard of these women I see. I am contemplating divorce, but just mindful of our six children. I don’t want to leave her, but just wish she would change.
Response
First I will tell you well-done for still hanging on to the marriage despite all odds, and your will to open up on the issue is an indication that you have not given up yet and are welcomed to whatever can be done to improve your marital challenge without having to go for the divorce option. I pray and believe that the Lord who originated marriage will breathe live back into every dead area is your marriage in Jesus Name.
First I want to let you know and understand that you got it all wrong from the beginning, and my reason for saying that is: If she didn’t fit the standard of your social status from the beginning it would have been wise you didn’t marry her, and you did not mention that you prayed and heard from the Lord before going ahead to marry her. To assume that you can change her once you relocate her to the city was a wrong assumption too. First, humans are irrational beings and so you cannot predict with any level of certainty what the behavioural outcome of a any set of behavioural input can yield. But if the Lord permitted that marriage to hold without any problem, then its because He is able to fix it when the challenges surface. You cannot change your wife through force and so I’ll point out to you that beating your wife is wrong before God and man, you need to repent of this very uncultured habit and seek forgiveness from your wife and from God.
I have mentioned a lot of what cannot and should not happen in your narration so I think we need to consider a realistic solution to your wife’s problems. First consider praying for her, like I mentioned to the last man who had issues with his wife, it is God who created your wife and Proverbs 21:1 says “The kings heart is in the hands of the Lord, he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases,” and this includes your wife’s heart. So whatever changes you want seen in your wife, just pray about it and trust God to make it happen. When you have a situation that is beyond you, you naturally seek help from someone who is beyond you to help you solve that problem, so let that someone be God. Commit you wife to God and everything about her that you want changed and it is just a matter of time for you to see God do in the life of your wife what you cannot do in her life. Remember He molded her in her mother’s womb and He calls her by name, so there is nothing about your wife that God cannot handle and fix if you commit it to Him.
Then have you considered showing more affection to your wife rather than complain to her about what she is not? Do you take her out on dates to those luxury places you go to and see those fashion conscious lady you want your wife to emulate? Or are you afraid that she might disgrace you when you do so? If you are not taking her out sir, you are not doing enough to help her. Let her go on a trip with you to one of those countries you visit and you will be amazed at the transformation. Take her on a shopping date and you would be pleased at what the outcome will be. If you desire good harvest from your wife, try sowing good seed into her and you will be amazed at the harvest she will bring forth for you.
Spend a year without complaining but simply just loving her irrespective of what she is or is not and it is just a matter of time for her to be all that you want her to be and more. Remember that all that God demands of you for your wife is unconditional love in the manner in which Christ loved the church and died for her (Ephesians 5:25-29), anything else is unacceptable. Do this and give God something to work with in making your wife all that you desire her to be and more. Your marriage is blessed in Jesus Name.
To the glory of God after a long wait and much effort, the books I authored are now available in hard copy. You can get details of the books by just clicking here or just by clicking on the books. Get copies for yourselves and sow into the lives of your loved ones. These books are guaranteed to make big and positive impacts in your life and that of your loved ones. You and yours are blessed in Jesus Name.
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