The Responsibility of Raising Children, How is it shared Among Couples?

Genesis 18:18-19

Since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him. For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken.

Ephesians 6:4

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Yeah it’s another beautiful day in God’s grace and goodness and for the gift of the breath of life that we have today, we bless God abundantly. Thanking Him who is our ever sure supply for the grace to share His word again today. I pray that lives and homes will be blessed in Jesus Name.

In looking at some very common avenues in which the devil can attempt to penetrate our marriage and steal our joy, we will be trusting God for a word on the issue of raising our children. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.” There are two things I am believing God to open up our hearts to in this blog post, and the first is: who holds the higher responsibility in training a child between the father and the mother, and secondly what direction should the training of our children take.

In the world today, the way and manner in which responsibilities are shared in the home is that the husband going out to work and earn income, while the wife stays home to care for and train the children. And so there are instances whereby the fathers do not get involved at all or have very minimal contribution in the training of the children, other than making available funds to meet their financial needs. So it is easy to blame the mother when things go wrong with the children because it is assumed that she is the one staying at home to train them.

With the new economic downturn that has seen the wife also having to hustle to make ends meet as it is almost impossible for the husband alone to financially provide for the family, we have the wives overburdened with the task of making money, yet caring for and training the children. And in cases where the wife cannot cope, she unburdens the caring for and training of the children to the housemaid. This has in turn created all sorts of child abuse and ill-mannered children that we have in the world today.

So it’s important to have a Biblical understanding of who owns what responsibility when it comes to training our children. I also want us to bear in mind that for every assignment given to man by God, He demands an account (Genesis 9:5).

From what God said concerning Abraham that he is expected to command his children and his entire household to keep the way of the Lord and to do righteousness and justice, and also the word of Paul to the fathers in Ephesians 6:4 which says "bring up his children in the training and admonition of the Lord," answers our two major questions that it’s the father who owns the primary responsibility to train his children and he is to train them in the way of the Lord and for this responsibility on his life, he will give account.

Contrary to the tradition that is in play in this generation, the Lord expects that the father/husband commands and instructs his children and even his household which includes his wife in the way of the Lord. But caring for the children is the responsibility of the mother/wife. From the qualities of a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31, we will understand that the wife/mother is burdened with the responsibility of caring for her children and entire household which includes the husbands, while the husband/father is holding the responsibility of issuing commands and training the children and the entire household in the way of the Lord. And in reality, the husband is the ideal and effect person to train the children as his instructions are seen to carry more weight.

But when it comes to the training of the children the mother also has a role to play. She is her husband's suitable helper, divinely provided by God to assist him in every area of his life and assignment that God has placed on his life and that includes the training of their children. So what I am understanding and sharing now is that the man holds the primary assignment to train the children in the way of the Lord while the wife is provided by God to assist him in this assignment.

With this very well understood, it should no longer be the trend that the mother will be solely held responsible for the bad behavior of the child while the father is exonerated of any fault. Rather both the father and mother should realize their lapses in training their children with the husband feeling more of the burden on the issue because he holds the responsibility to train his children.

In closing I will point out that mothers have more influence on their children and with this comes the need for them to lead by example. When the mother is implementing the commands and instructions of her husband in her life and the children are seeing her do that effectively, it becomes a step easier for her to enforce the father's instructions in the home. And most importantly is that the father as the head of the home leads by example also. Then the children will do as they do and not do just as they say. May God bless and replenish our homes and shine down on our children in Jesus Name.