A few hours ago I heard a story of a couple who had a fight, and because I have a keen interest in marriage issues I took my time to hear out the entire drama that unfolded. And the story goes like this:
A young couple were living happily together, when the wife had their first child, the wife's mother and the husband's sister came around to help out in nursing the new-born as the child was their first. The husband's sister didn't spend much time as she had her own family to take care of but she just had to be their because their mother who would have carried out the task was late.
But rather than the wife's mother spending a short while and leaving too, she decided to stay-put and live large on her son-law's hard earned money. She has just been separated from her third husband and so she has no husband to report to. She was also not there alone but came in the company of other relatives in the name of cousins, brothers and sister. Soon their home became an extended family home with total lack of privacy for the husband. The wife really didn't mind as those around were her family members.
When the husband could no longer take the intrusion on his privacy in the name of helping to nurse his son, he asked the wife to find a means of telling her family members to return to their home. When he noticed the wife was not doing a good job of the assignment he gave her, he took it upon himself to show the intruders the exit door, with his attitude indicating they should not bother to come back.
Just recently the husband was expecting his young cousin who was coming to spend a few nights with them. This he told his wife ahead of the time of the visit so that she came prepare for the visitor coming. But rather than the wife preparing for the visit, she picked a fight with her husband saying if he would not allow his mummy stay over in their house, then his cousin is also not welcomed in the house.
Initially the husband thought the wife was joking until she began to push him and insist he cannot leave the house as he had promised the visitor to come pick him up for the visit. She broke his eye glasses, and in fact left some bit marks on his body. When she went to the toilet to ease herself the husband sneaked out of the house to park his car properly in the garage as he had already called the intending visitor to postpone the visit. On returning to the front door, the wife had locked him out and he had to pass the night in his car.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
I have to confess that this story is a little beyond me but did it happened real life. I have heard so much about a wife been maltreated by her husband, but the case of a wife been physically confrontational towards her husband and been the originator of the fight is pretty rear and this confirms what Solomon said in Proverbs 19:13b that "a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping." A wife such as the one whose story is told above cannot add value to her husband, she is a constant dripping to her husband.
If for any reason the husband had decided to react negatively, the aggressor will not be the wife, but the husband yet the wife is the originator of the fight, a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. That a woman will comfortable sleep in the house with her husband sleeping in the car in the garage by her doing makes me wonder what kind of a woman she is and what report she intends to give God over her assignment in the life of her husband assigned to be by God.
Dealing with the issue that caused the fight which originated from the wife; The husband is the head of the home, and in marriage the interference of parents and parents in-law, sisters, brothers, cousins, nephews and nieces are not allowed. That is why the Bible says marriage is about leaving and uniting.
Secondly, if the husband has invited his family member over to spend a few nights and as his wife you do not approve of it, there are better ways to deal with it rather than a fight. There are ways and timing to air your views such that your attitude will push your husband to apologize to you rather than fight him. And in this case you are actually fighting for your mother to live with you rather than prevent your husband from bringing in a visitor. As a married woman your number one assignment and priority is your husband above your mother This might sound cruel, but the Lord ordained it so. You are to support and help your husband and not prove equality with him in the home. The Lord formed the wife to be a suitable helper to her husband. She is a helpmeet in his life and not a helpmate.
This story has generated so much thought in me, and I will appreciate that as you read this, you leave a comment and tell me your view on the matter is.
There are other interesting stories and articles to read and learn from on my website http://www.thewordthatsuits.com/. For my Nigerian readers, you can not pre-order any of my books by filling out the pre-order form on http://www.thewordthatsuits.com/books excerpts from the books are available on the page of each book title on the dropdown of the books page. Thank you so much and God bless you.