The Foundation Of Marriage

In my two previous posts this year I wrote that most of the post from this blog will be focused on is the issue of marriage and building a successful home. In Genesis chapter two, the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone and so marriage is an institution that almost every one created by God will pass through. It is the norm in all human race that one should get married. But marriage is not just about a man and a woman living together, but that they live together in harmony and love and oneness which is what makes a successful marriage.
An old classmate of mine recently shared a story on group chat we both belong to of  her friend who died recently from domestic abuse. This lady who got married less than two years ago was beaten to death by her husband while she was pregnant. And this is not a case in isolation, there are several of such cases that I have read about on news journal and online news portals and several uncountable divorces cases that occur almost every minute. Several of my friends on the chat platform were of the opinion that the lady should have walked out of the marriage as soon as the abuse started rather than endured it to her death.
I can not totally say they are wrong for making such comments, but could the lady and several other ladies in abusive marriage get a better deal from their marriage is a question I will trust God to help us answer in the series of post I will be sharing on the topic of marriage in the next weeks and months.
In order to have a marriage that shines bright and gives you great to joy and not one that you have to endure, it must be built on the right foundation. Several people have entered into marriage for very wrong reasons and one of such reason is emotions. And when the reason for the coming together of these two wonderful people expires, then we get to hear of things like divorce and abuse in marriage.
Some other people have had spouses picked for them without their consent and without adequate prayer and hearing from God on the choice of spouse they have chosen for their children and wards, so such people are burdened with a marriage that does not make them happy or give them joy. This also is a reason that can lead to divorce or abuse in marriage.
With this said, what then is the appropriate approach to making a choice of a marriage partner? In order to answer this question right, we need to get back to the Bible.

Genesis 2:18; 20b-22; 24-25
18The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

But for Adam no suitable help was found. 21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 

The scripture above gives us insight into the origin of marriage. First, it tells us why the Lord instituted marriage, as the Lord Himself stated that it is not good for the man to be alone. The second and very important thing to note in this scripture is that it was the Lord upon pronouncing that it is not good for the man to be alone who made the woman from the rib He took out of the man and then presented her to the man.
When God said it was not good for the man to be alone, He did not ask the man to go in search of a help for himself but rather made a suitable helper for him in the form of a woman and brought her to him. When a man is approaching a point in his life where he needs a suitable helper, he needs not burden himself searching for a suitable helper because that is not a task he can carry out adequately well. All he needs to do is go back to God in prayer, and petition God to present to him the suitable helper He has created for him. That woman whom the Lord formed from the rib He took from such a man.
When your choice of a wife is based on prayer and not emotions, then you will be getting married to God's best choice for you and that lays the foundation for success in your marital life.
Also for the woman the same approach applies to you, please it is better that you pray and seek the consent of God to inquire and know if that man you want to marry is the man from whose ribs the Lord formed you and for whose life's purpose you have been created before you sign off the authority of your life to a wrong head.
And if as a woman you think you are beginning to get old and yet to be married, please don't get so worried and then give yourself off to the wrong man. Please take the time to pray and ask the Lord to present you to that man from whose ribs He made you and for whose life's destiny your were formed.
For those who have entered into marriage without first seeking the mind of God before taking the decision, all hope is not lost. At whatever level your marriage is now, you can start to pray for God's visitation and intervention in your marriage. Pray that the Lord begins to right the wrongs in your home and life and thus make your marriage a beauty to behold. This is something not difficult at all for God to do if you'll sincerely let Him. 
In my next post, I will trust God to help us consider the role love plays in marriage and if love can be the sole criteria for one to get married.