The Sacrifice Of A Wife

I was driving and listening to a radio station that was airing a program with a very interesting topic. It was a call-in discussion on a specific issue on marriage. Although I didn't get to hear the topic on which the program was based, but from what I heard of what was discussed I realized it is a discussion worth seeking the face of God on.
The thread of discussion I was able to gather was based on women who had given up their dreams in pursuit of the family dreams and in the process had bottled up resentment that turned into rage or better still anger overtime. And as would be expected of bottled up emotions it results in outburst.So I felt this would be worth discussing on this blogsite. As mentioned in some of my earlier blog posts, my blog posts in times to come will feature a lot of topics on marriages.
So as women, how do we handle situations whereby we have to give up our dreams and aspirations for the sack of our family's needs or even wants? Giving up our own dreams in order to run our husband's race with them?
To start with, I am also finding myself in that same situation, and I can tell you that a lot of women are in one way or the other having to give up something precious that sometimes might be in the form of a dream or life's pursuit just on concentrate effort on the success of their family. But how to make this sacrifice and not have bottled up emotions that will result in any form of outburst that might endanger the peace of the marriage and home is what I will trust God to help us realize through this blog post.
Based on the account of marriage in Genesis 2:18-25, the primary assignment from God to the woman is to be a suitable helper to her husband, but this does not in any way prevent her from having dreams and pursuing after her dreams. But the way and manner with which she handle her dreams go a long way to tell how far she will be able to realize those dreams.
As a child of God, when you are making effort in pleasing God in the assignment He has laid on your hands of which one of them is your marriage, then you can be sure the Lord will also make efforts in pleasing you on the issue of the desires of your heart.
Having bottled up emotions on your pending dreams and desires is dangerous to your marriage. One truth that we should know and always remind ourselves of, is that no matter how much we want to blame our spouses for these pending dreams, it ultimately not their call, but God's call with your cooperation. Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed," all those beautiful dreams of yours will only be made successful by the Lord and not your spouse.

Psalm 37: 5-6
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Learn this secret today about your dreams, aspirations and wants; first commit those dreams to the Lord in prayer, never mind whether you discuss them with your husband or not, first discuss them with God and lay bare before Him what it is you are planning to do.
Secondly, take time to please God. Get busy doing something meaningful for the Lord that truly deserves a reward. Remember it is God you are doing it for and not man. The aim is to please God in what you are doing. One act of reverence for God is reverence for your husband. You show forth the hand of God in your life when you show reverence to your husband. You should also make every effort at working towards building a peaceful and beautiful home. This is one assignment that God has given the woman to do. Wise women build homes. And a wife of noble character is the crown of her husband's life. These works are worth all the reward that God has to offer for them.

Proverbs 21:30-31
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The book of Proverbs 31:10-31 says so much about the wife of noble character and all she gets to do as a woman who fears the Lord. And just at the end of the passage it speaks of her deserving a reward. So when you desire your dreams coming to pass, get into the business of pleasing the Lord by making effort at being the wife of noble character that God has called you to be. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." In truth there is a reward for the work you have done.
As a wife I have many dreams that I have had to put on hold because of my family. Some of my dreams I have shared with my husband and most of the time his views are always very different from mine as he does not appreciate my own aspirations. But that has not stopped me from dreaming, neither has it caused me having negative bottled up emotions for my husband. In fact he shares more of his dreams and goals with me more than I share mine and I have had to agree in line with him even when I see things differently because I have learnt about the power of unity.
But more than I speak with man, I commit my dreams and desires into the hands of God. Several times my husband has gone against my desires because he does not appreciate what I am working towards but eventually overtime has comes to adopt my method and often times he has been the instrument God has used in fulfilling my desires that I have prayed about.
It's okay to put your dreams on hold as a sacrifice for your family for the meantime, but its not fulfilling to give up on your dreams. It's also not good and healthy to have bottled up anger towards your spouse because of unfulfilled dreams, because the realization of your dreams is not a factor determined by him in the long run. He can only make you feel good or bad about your dreams. It's just his encouragement that will be missing. Learn the secret of engaging God in your pursuits and be patient for Him to bring to reality that which you have prayed to Him for. He alone makes all things beautiful in His time.