This explains why we have a considerable number of woman who are still unmarried when they are gradually crawling past their marriage age. And for those who are lucky enough to find their ideal husbands or wives are quick to run out of the marriage if for any reason their spouse no longer meets up with their set standard of a spouse to be married to.
Such people do not give room for the mind of God in making a choice of a life partner, neither do they look in the mirror at their own selves to see if they are fit and good enough for the selection they are trying to make. As time passes by, they become miserable and frustrated as no man will be willing to marry them in their old state.
In order to help these category of people, and those who are still in the business of setting high standard for their choice of spouse, I will trust God to use this post in revealing His mind on the ideal and best way to make a choice of a life partner.
Genesis 2:18, 22
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The passages above shows God's pattern of how a man and a woman should come together and be united in marriage. For a woman seeking peace and comfort in marriage rather than myopic ideals that might not last, its important that such a woman seek the face of God realistically and objectively without any form of bias before going ahead to accept or refuse a marriage proposal.
I have come across quite a number of women in their 50s that are yet to be married and at that age, are not enjoying the loneliness that has accompanied their state of life. It will be rather wrong to say that all single ladies gradually crawling past their marriage age are still single due to their high handedness with suitors in their earlier years, or high standard set for an ideal husband. But for those who have fallen victim of singleness as a result of their own making, I am sure they will look back and wish they had not set those unrealistic high standard for a prospective husband.
I have come across a number of women who will not marry a man who is not rich or at least have a good paying job. One of the deciding factor for parental consent when someone close to me was seeking his parent's consent to marry the lady he loves was whether he was financially capable of taking care of the woman he wanted to marry.
I totally agree to the need to be financially prepared for marriage, but that should never be a major reason for a man or woman to marry. I have come across couples in which the husband was very well financially stable and rich enough to take care of and provide for the needs of the wife he is about to get married to just before they got married. But a few years down into the marriage the story changed and what seemed more than enough became barely enough for one person not to talk of two and with a marriage that has produced children then we speak of more persons to care for.
Yet in another story I have come across a man with close to nothing in his pocket before getting married, yet a few years into the marriage his fortunes changed and the Lord had mercy on him and birth him in favour such that he is not only able to financially provide for the needs of his family, but also their wants.
So if one of the major reasons why you have decided to marry that man was the weight of his bank account, or his physical build and facial appearance then in that marriage their are no guarantees. At anytime the tables may turn and then what becomes of that marriage? And if this person decides to walk out the marriage for yet another money bag or handsome man and still the tables turn, one will then wonder how many husbands such a woman will have to give herself to before hitting the grave. And what lessons of life will she teach the children she has birth into the world?
But when you look beyond your ideal standard, and let God make you and place you in the life of the fitting husband He has created you for, then you are guaranteed of peace and comfort in that marriage. Once I came across the picture of my husband 19years ago when we first met, I looked at the picture and then looked at a more recent picture of his and wondered how he has evolved from the less than appealing man he was then, to the very handsome man he has grown to become. A lot of ladies have made advances at my husband in the recent past years, and I wondered if they would have done the same 19years ago.
But for me, it was not the money he had, because he didn't have much at the time we met up till the time we married. But I prayed to God because I didn't want to make a mistake in marriage. I never had any set standard for a prospective husband, I just wanted what God wants for me and someone who will make me happy. But with time, in that same one man, I have a husband who now can financially provide for me and our children and who is also good looking physically. All these because I allowed God direct my steps to His choice for me. At that time he didn't seem like one who is an ideal husband for many with high standard, but a lot of ladies see him now and wish they had been married to him.
There is never a time too late for God to shine down on someone reading this, and bless such a person with a loving husband. But you might just miss the choice of God for your life if you allow yourself get blinded by unnecessary setting of standards that you also might never be able to meet using the other persons yardstick. A perfect loving husband, or a perfect loving wife is attainable only with the help of God and not by human standard.