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Wednesday, 31 July 2013

As The Queen Makes A Request From Her King

Esther 5:1-8
On the third day Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace, in front of the king's hall . The king was sitting on his royal throne in the hall, facing the entrance. When he saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the gold sceptre that was in his hands. So Esther approached and touched the tip of the sceptre.
Then the king asked, "What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you."
"If it pleases the king," replied Esther, "let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him."
"Bring Haman at once," the king said, "so that we may do what Esther asks." So the king and Haman went to the banquet Esther had prepared. As they were drinking wine, "the king again asked Esther, "Now what is your petition? It will be given you. And what is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted. 
Esther replied, "My petition and my request is this: If the king regards with me favour and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfil my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king's question."  

It is interesting as much as surprising the much lessons there are for women to learn from this book of Esther. I must be truthful that when the Lord dropped it in my spirit to read this book, I didn't know that I could learn this much from the book of Esther. As I learn this lessons I also share them. 
Today what I want us to see again in that story of Esther is the way and manner in which Esther presented her petition and request before her husband, King Xerxes. True that the man named Xerxes in that book of Esther was the king over 127 provinces, but that king was the husband of Esther the queen. 
When she heard of what Haman had laid in store for the Jews, she didn't storm into the king's court fuming. She didn't shout the roof down proclaiming the fact that she is the queen in the palace. But the first thing she did was to request for prayers. She sort the face of God before even approaching her husband. 
In this day and time, how many women of God still pray before approaching their husbands over sensitive issues? How many women still think it necessary to pray before discussing the needs of the family with their husbands as the king in their lives and the head of their home?
After Esther had fasted and prayed, the Bible said she put on her royal robes before standing in the inner courts of the palace where she could be in full view of her husband the king. So after Esther had prayed, she took the time to pay attention to her appearance. She didn't just stand up from the place of prayer and walk straight to the inner court, but she took time to adjust her look before heading up to the full view of her husband the king. How many of us see our husbands in the light of the king in our lives who deserves to see us at our best at all times. 
I know that Esther's case might be a little different due to the prevailing culture of her time and region. Then she had not been called into the presence of her husband in 30days, but still we who lie in the same bed with our husband night after night should not take that for granted but still honour the presence of our husbands at all times.
Then another thing Esther did before making her request was that she made a special meal for him, the Bible said she made a special banquet for the king. Let's leave the fact that Haman was invited to dinner, but concentrate on the fact that the petition was made over a beautiful banquet prepared specially for the king. 
All that Esther did was to prepare the heart of her husband favourably for what she was going to ask of him. The lesson in all these is that before Esther made a request of her husband she had put some special things in place even before approaching him with her request. How many of us take time to warm our way into the hearts of our husbands before knocking them off with loads and pills and requests? These things might seem insignificant but in truth they are the tiny bits that make the whole sum either positively or negatively.
Once I was counselling a women who has been married for over 30 years and she has been estranged from her husband for more than half of the period she's been married. The husband will rather just live away from his family because that seem more peaceful for him. The couple are not divorced, but would not live together either. When I asked the wife what exactly was the problem, she said her husband's complain has always been that she is too demanding. So I told her that I have seen many things in the Bible, but I am yet to see where in the Bible that God or any of the authors of the Bible has said your husband must meet all your needs or wants, neither did God tell us women to trust our husbands for our needs. But I have seen where the Bible says "The lion may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord will lack no good thing." I told her the Bible says we should seek God and not the husbands. 
It is not those who overburden their husbands with loads of request that lacks no good thing, but those who seek the Lord. There are times we know that our husbands can afford what we need or want and their is no sin in asking, but the way and manner we present our request to them tells how much of our needs they will be willing to give us. The manner of approach when you ask your husband for things is a minor issue that is of major importance. When we follow the lead of Esther and we try out the approach of Esther, then up to half of our husband's kingdom will most assuredly be made available to us, because in truth they are the king.  

Monday, 29 July 2013

The Appearance Of A Queen

Esther 2:3, 21
Let the king appoint commissioners in every province of his realm to bring all these beautiful girls into the harem at the citadel of Susa. Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king's eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them.

Before a girl's turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six months with perfumes and cosmetics. 

Genesis 12:11
As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a beautiful woman you are. 

Genesis 26:7
When the men of that place asked him about his wife, he said, "She is my sister," because he was afraid to say, "She is my wife." He thought, "The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah, because she is beautiful."

My post today is still one of the lessons I learned from the book of Esther in the Bible, a very rare lesson I must say and one that is seldom thought to woman in the church. Well at least not in Nigeria. It is a common practise that once a woman gets married they bother very little about their physical appearance. And what the Bible terms moderation in dressing as been interpreted to be the total removal of good looks in women. But from what I see in the Bible, I am of the mindset that there is a need for the woman of God to look beautiful both inside and out. A balance is required for us woman to remain as beautiful as the Lord God Almighty has created us. 
In the provinces of King Xerxes a beauty course of twelve months was prescribed for the women, and for a girl to be presented to the king for approval consideration, she needed to complete the twelve months course. What I am learning in this is that in our own domain as women, we are queens. Within the territory of your home, you are a queen, and a beautiful queen to a deserving king who is your husband, and you hold it as a responsibility to remain beautiful for him, to ensure that in your appearance before him at all times makes him proud and delighted that he has you as his queen. 

1 Timothy 2:9
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive cloths, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. 

1 Peter 3:3
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine cloths. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.   

Many people have interpreted the words of Paul and Peter in the passages above to be that woman should abstain from wearing gold, pearls and fine or expensive cloths, but what I see here is not that. I see Paul and Peter calling women to a need to balance their efforts in making themselves beautiful. Not overdoing the efforts on the outward appearance while neglecting the inward beauty. 
Sarah and Rebekah where godly women of old. I will like to refer to them as the mothers of the godly women as the Bible refereed to Sarah as an example of the holy woman of old, yet she was beautiful enough to be sort after by worldly kings even in old age (Genesis 20). It is very important that we need to be beautiful in deeds and good works. There is the need to make God our standards at all times. But there is also the need to make our appearance beautiful. Even if it's just on a scale of 2:10 as we take time to pursue after God, we need to give attention to our appearance. We need to make a little effort at our looks.
King Xerxes was proud of the appearance of his queen that he wanted to show her off to the nobles and princes under him. Not that they have never seen Queen Vashti before, but it still delighted the king to show her off. I am positive our husbands feel some sense of pride when they have a beautiful wife by their side as the appear for occasions. No matter how godly a man is, he still feels proud to present his beautiful wife to the world over and over again. 
Once I escorted my husband for his graduation ceremony at the Lagos Business School where he did a short course program. I did take time with my dressing I must confess. I was modest, decent and I looked good. A bit of make-up, small earrings, a small necklace and a wrist-watch. My hair was also very nicely done, like that which I have on my profile now and I was very satisfied with the way I looked. But the highlight for me was the pride with which my husband introduced me to his friends and course-mates that he was graduating alongside with. And they all had a surprise look about them, their comments been "madam, you look good." When we got home my husband told me that some of his friends didn't believe I was his wife, but accused him of hiring a woman to stand as his wife. I could read the delight on his face over that incidents and all he said was Derin I think we should go out some more. 
Please beautiful women of God, do not deprive your husband the joy they feel when people commend them on the looks of their wives. Make effort at been a queen both inside and out. I am not saying you pour all your life at looking good and abandon your true assignment of been the suitable help and the submission and prayer you are required for give as a wife, but on a scale of 2:10, make effort at looking good. 
Once a friend of mine told me that her husband does not like her wearing gold jewellery, and she didn't see anything wrong with wearing such. She wanted my advice and I told her that her major assignment from God towards her husband is submission. So if your husband forbids you wearing gold jewellery then its important you stop wearing them and any other thing your husband does not permit, but still look good anyway. The good looks is not restricted to the jewelleries and pearls. The efforts at looking good is mainly for your husband so there is not point making efforts that is not appreciated. But if your husband permits you to wear these apparels, heaven does not forbid it either as long as it is done in moderation and done modestly and with a lot of decency to go with it. You are a queen fearfully and wonderfully made by God, maintain the beauty of God's creation in you.    

Friday, 26 July 2013

The Errors Of Queen Vashti. Are You A Model Queen?

Esther 1:9-12, 16-18
Queen Vashti also gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes.
On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him - Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar and Carcas - to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. But when the attendants delivered the king's command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger.  

Then Memucan replied in the presence of the king and nobles, "Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, 'King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.' This very day the Persian and Median women of nobility who have heard about the queen's conduct will respond to all the kings's noble in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord.   

For about two days I had been praying and trusting God for what to share in my next blog post. I really wanted to move on from marriage issues to other aspect of our everyday life such as parenting, but the Lord just kept pressing on my heart to read the book of Esther in the Bible. I knew the story of how Esther became queen and just didn't see a desired message in that story until I picked up my Bible and began to read. I had just read the first chapter of the book of Esther when I realized why the Lord wanted me to read it all over again. 
My post today will touch on the role of the wives as queens with leadership assignments. The wife leader is more of what this Bible passage talks about. Much was not said of the wife of King Xerxes, other than three things. She was a very beautiful woman whose husband was proud to show off to the world; she was a woman leader as she was a queen, and she held a banquet for the noble women in the province just at the time her husband the king was holding a banquet for the noble men and princes of the province; and lastly she disobeyed or maybe its okay to say she disregarded her husband's command. 
But the highlight of what is contained in the first chapter of the book of Esther is what we read from Vs 16-18. The interpretation given to the action of Queen Vashti by the noble men. Because Queen Vashti is a woman leader, it is assumed that what she did will be replicated in all the women in the province and there will be no end to the disrespect and discord among the women to their husbands. Vashti might have been looking down on her husband within the confines of their home but when in public eye it was time for her to show restrain and conduct herself properly. Her sins where not just against her husband who is the king but against the entire provinces under the rule of the king because she was a woman leader, she was a queen, she was a role model that others looked up to and copied. She needed to set a standard and it has to be the right standard. 
Now, there is the need to point the flash light at the women leaders in our times and those who aspire to be leaders. The Pastor's wives and deaconesses in the house, the female pastors in the house. Those who are married to leaders of a group and leaders of organisations, those who mentor others and have people who look up to them as role-models, are you a model queen? What examples are you setting for those who look up to you with your conduct in marriage. Do you show total and complete respect for your husband such that those who see you can emulate such conduct and replicate it in their homes and then just by your actions you promote peace in other peoples lives and homes? 
The truth is that we might not understand the extent to which our actions can go. Vashti might never have thought that her lack of respect to her husband had a potential danger on the entire provinces under her husband's rule. But whether we know it or not, those action have ripple effects. Your children see the way you relate with their father with lack of regard for his authority as the head of the home and this leaves a lasting impression on them. They might grow up treating their spouses in the same manner because that is what they saw and know their mother to do. 
As a pastor's wife, your respect for your husband is also your respect for the entire congregation and the office he holds. The women in the church see the way the pastor's wife behaves and they go home and replicate the things they have learned not by words but through the actions of their role model and they get good results. 
In order to be a real queen there is the need to make that husband of yours a king both at home and in public eye. The king in him authenticates the queen in you and a disrespect to the king is a disrespect to the kingdom. You need to be a model queen at all times. 




Thursday, 25 July 2013

What the Bible Says About Gay Relationships

Leviticus 18:22
"Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

Leviticus 20:13
" 'If a man lies with a man  as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

Romans 1:24-27
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

I am a bit reluctant to share this post due to the seemingly controversial nature of what it speaks about, but we have a duty in Christ to speak the truth on issues at all times and shed the light of God on matters not to condemn, but to build up. Not to talk people down, but to show forth the light of God in a dark world. 
There is so much clamor in today's world for same sex marriage. It is fast becoming a topic of discuss within the ruling system of a lot of countries and it is fast becoming legitimate and legal for same gender people to move around freely as couples. The aspect that now calls for attention is the fact that even within the church of God the topic of same gender relationships is beginning to feature. So if we will not address the issue as ordinary men, we need to look at it with respect to the house of God.
When God was giving His laws to Moses, one aspect He didn't leave out was that of same gender relationship. When God instituted marriage at the beginning of time, the Bible said God made them Male and Female and said for this reason a man will leave father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:18-end, Matthew 19:3-9). So the natural kind of sexual relation seen in the context of marriage is between a male and a female. A sexual relationship in the context of marriage between a male and another male or a female and another female is unnatural and it is detestable before the Lord.
When the hearts of men have become so filled with sinful lust and they show no restraints to evil desires for fear of the One Who Created them, they Bible says God lets them have their ways to the degrading of their bodies. What we see in the world today as countries are beginning to legalize the unnatural for the natural is what Paul describes as exchanging the truth of God for a lie and the worship of created things rather than the Creator. What the Bible says is that same gender sexual relationship is detestable, unnatural and indecent. But in the world today, as knowledge as so increased and the created of God are assuming to be more knowledgeable than their Creator, we see man calling what God has called unnatural to be natural. And an indecent act is fast becoming legalized the world over. 
But because we cannot out-know God, and because we are mere mortals, men will receive in themselves the full penalty for their perversion. When we begin call natural what God has called unnatural, then we should not be alarmed when we begin to experience the unnatural for the natural. Man can never out-know God and there is a penalty for this perversion that will not cease to take place if men don't begin to retrace their steps and plead for mercy. 
If this trend is allowed the world over, we who are the beloved of God need to set ourselves apart. Marriage is a beautiful institution ordained by God for the man as a male gender and his wife as a female gender. Marriage presented in any other form apart from this is detestable to God, it is a perversion with a penalty. 

Sunday, 21 July 2013

God's Position On Divorce

Malachi 2:15-16 (NIV)
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
"I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. 

Matthew 19:3-9
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, :Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." 

1 Corinthians 7:10
To the married I give this command (not I but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?  

The post I want to share today is geared towards having an extensive look into the topic called DIVORCE in marriage. I consider divorce as a silent wicked vice that has found its way into the institution of marriage and attempts to destabilize the marriage that God instituted at the very beginning. Divorce has become a convenient approach for the hardened hearts who would not give God room to walk them through the challenges they might be facing in their marriages and so it has received a warm embrace even among the Christians. 
For those who are divorced before they came to the saving knowledge of Christ Jesus, this post does not stand to condemn you. And also for those who are already divorced this post also does not write you off. The Bible says seven times a righteous man many fall, but they shall surely raise again and in Christ Jesus there is always room for new beginnings.  
Divorce in whatever way or manner or reason we may look at or have for it, the Lord God Almighty says He hates divorce. Divorce for any reason does not carry the approval of God. When we look at the question of the Pharisees to Jesus in Matthew 19, they sought clarity for divorce for any and every reason and Jesus responded saying that at the beginning the Lord made them male and female and joined them together in flesh and spirit and so they have ceased to become two but one and if God has so found it fitting to join them together as one, then man has no right or justification to undo what God has done by separating what God has joined together. As children of God having in us the fear of God, we need to understand that trying to carry out an act that God hates is a sin. So in other words divorce is a sin just like murder, lies, theft and other forms of sin. 
I am so trying to look for a form of soft landing for this message, but the whole truth is that divorce is a sin. Right from the Old Testament, through to the days of Jesus and after the days of Jesus to this present generation divorce has been a sin and always will be a sin. God hates it and has expressed Himself so over and over again. 
In the book of Malachi, God warned that man should guard himself in the spirit, and what that tells us is that God expects that we put a watch on whatever it is that might lead to breaking faith with our spouses. God expects us to watch over our conduct in our marriages and abide by His rules in establishing that institution such that we watch against anything and everything that might cause a break in our marriage union. As it applies to the man, so does it to the woman, it is a call that needs for us to be on our guard to conduct ourselves in our marriages such that we overcome the vice of divorce. It depends on us to do and so God is calling our attention to it. 
Jesus said that Moses permitted divorce because the hearts of men were hard. Divorce is the option that applies only to hardened hearts that are not receptive to the instruction and teachings of God. When a marriage has reached the point of divorce then it shows that those involved are hardened people who will not yield. 
It appears as though there are some exception to the rules when it comes to the issue of divorce; in the book of Matthew 19, Jesus gave marital unfaithfulness as one of such exceptions, but when we get to the book of 1 Corinthians 7, we will observe that even if a man or woman divorces for this reason, he/she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse. So when we look at the matter wholly we will observe that divorce is not a thing approved by God. 
Also Paul gave the stance of believe as a tenable reason for a man or woman to divorce, yet he speaks not as God's mouth piece but based on his own personal view. More so we are not to be equally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). If you have allowed God make for you a wife and you have consulted and confirmed with God before marrying that husband, the rule of Paul will not apply to you. God will not lead you into a marriage that is destined for divorce or destined to fail. 
So taking a comprehensive look at all the instances that might permit divorce for any and every reason, God's rule still stands firm and sure and that rule is that your marriage is not designed for divorce as God hates divorce. 
The next thing we need to face as reality is that just like every area of our lives, in marriages we face challenges. No marriage is without its stories both good and bad and even the ugly. There will always will the high times and the down times, but if you can trust God to solve your financial crisis, and then trust God for your healing, and trust God for your children, so you should be able to trust God to work in your marriage. Divorce is not the easy way out of a troubled marriage, it's just speaking the language of failure to God. But when you settle down and allow God hold your hand and walk you through the storm, it will appear as though you never had any trouble before with your spouse. 
Marriage is a beautiful place to be, it an institution designed by God for the man He create and the help He has provided for him as a form place of refreshment, love, peace, joy and harmony. It is not a battle ground and it is not designed by God to be endured but enjoyed. When you relax and focus on God and apply the rules of God for your marriage, you will enjoy the proceeds thereof and know that indeed God has the best of you in mind when He instituted marriage. 

To get a copy of my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement", it's available in print and kindle on amazon.com via this link http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1372678170&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement. You can also please review the book on the provided link, that will be appreciated. The book is also available in print on CreateSpace.com via this link https://www.createspace.com/4309313 

Other books written and published by me includes "Gleanings From the Throne of God" available in print and kindle on amazon.com via this link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Gleanings%20From%20the%20Throne%20of%20God. This book proves to be a eye opener to the things of God. You can also review the book on the link provided. The book is also available in print on CreateSpace.com via this link https://www.createspace.com/4330620
   

   

Monday, 15 July 2013

Some Insight Into My Books

I am using my blog post today to share insight into my newly published books. Although these books have been a compilation of writings through the inspiration of God over the past five years but by the grace of God they are just been publish one at a time. I am going to share with my readers something from three of my books that are presently published and available on amazon.com. I pray everyone that visits this blog leaves with something to impact their lives positively.

The first book I will like to share somethings about happens to be the first book I ever wrote, and it is titled "Gleanings From The Throne of God". In fact this book was born from a desire to share the word through tracks and I discovered that what God was laying on my heart was a little beyond tracks. By the time the Lord was done with me writing the book, I found myself writing about eighteen passages of each message. This book contains ten different messages that are not related to each other in any way, so it is as though having 10 small books in one. The fist title of the book "Gleanings From The Throne of God", is "The Joy Of Thanksgiving".  The message of this title makes a search into the heart of God as to why the Lord requires us to give thanks at all times. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." In fulling this command of the Lord, we are required to give God thanks even when things are going well, and we are in the middle of life's challenges. The Lord wants us to give Him thanks even in the midst of our grieve. Sometimes when we think about this we are tempted to conclude that the requirements of God are hard, but then God is not a mean God, if He has asked us to do a thing, He has a beautiful end us. So "The Joy Of Thanksgiving" is a reach into the mind of God to help us understand the importance of thanksgiving, so when we know better on this we are able to act better on it. The second title of "Gleanings From The Throne of God is "Empty Pursuit". What this title reveals to us is the need to align our needs, wants, desires and pursuit with the will and purpose of God for our lives. God created us and understands the function and purpose we are created to fulfill. We will only be effective and fulfilled on the face of the earth when our purpose is inline with God's purpose for us. The thirds title is "What Do You Have In Your Hands", and this title speaks of the knowledge of the gift and talents of God in our lives. It reveals that no man created by God is created empty, and as we discover our gift, we need to hand it over to God to breath on and multiply it for us. He alone teaches our hands to make wealth. The forth title is "Parents Talk" which reveals to us the important things we need to know, do and pray about as we raise Godly offspring for God. The fifth title is "Becoming the Woman God Intends You To Be". Hello ladies this is for us. Here we have just something helpful, suitable to help us fulfill better our God given assignment as a wife and mother, fulfilling the will and purpose of God for our lives. The sixth title is "You Don't Have To Be Perfect", and this messages reveals to us that we are good enough a harvest for God just as we are. We don't need any self-effort at perfection to be saved by God. Just as we are in our sinful state in all God desires to save us. He will work His perfection in our lives, even before we know it. The seventh title is "Danger of Worry", and just like the title says it opens our hearts to the possible treat of worry, not just to our faith but also to our health and help us to know that we can rest all fears at the throne of God and pick up faith instead, the faith that is strong enough to make things happen. The eighth title is "The Suffering That Makes Perfect", I do have a blog post with the same title and the content of that blog post is a summary of what contains in this book. God will not make you go through those challenges just as a punishment, but as a training designed to produce a glorious end for you. It is a training that makes us mature and produces perfection in us if we are truly trained by it. The ninth title is "Though It Hurts I Must Forgive", and this title contains an illustration that really reflects the purpose of God when He instructed that we need to forgive those who sin against us. I learned a great deal writing this message and it opened my heart to gains of forgiveness. The tenth title of this book is "Standing For God". On so many occasions in the Bible we have read of how God made proud declarations of those who have truly walked with Him, He made a proud declaration of Abraham whom He called His friend, He made a proud declaration of David whom He called a man after His heart, He man a proud declaration of Noah whom the Bible recognized as righteous man who was different from His peers, He made a proud declaration of Job whom He said there was none like on the face of the earth, He made a proud declaration of our Lord Jesus Christ whom He said was His Son in whom He is well pleased. All these people and more stood the testing of faith. The declaration of God over their lives were tested and yet the stood. Are we ready to stand for God? 
All these are there in the book "Gleanings From The Throne Of God" it is available in print and kindle from this amazon.com or via this link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Gleanings%20From%20the%20Throne%20of%20God or https://www.createspace.com/4330620


The second book I want to share it's content with you is titled "Marriage God's Rules of Engagement". From the frequency of my blog post on marriage issues I suppose a lot of people will understand how helpful that book is to the making of a successful marital experience. It is a book of about seven chapters that shows us a lot about the mind of God for that institution called marriage. You will understand from Bible truth what God expects of you in form of your attitude towards your spouse, the role that love is to play in your marriage and choice of a spouse. The prerequisite for choosing a spouse, the mind of God concerning divorce and arranged marriage and seen in the Bible, the vice of polygamy, how to handle external interference in your marriage and many more and then there are also real life stories on marriage issues that you can learn from. This has helped my marriage and it will help yours because it is the truth of the Bible. 


The third book I want to share it's content with you is titled "Because The Lord Seeks Godly Offspring". Malachi 2:15a says "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring." One very  important assignment for the husband and his wife assigned to them by God is to give the Lord godly which he seeks. In deed the world is highly in need of godly offspring given the high level of moral decay the world over. Offspring that will crush the head of satan and bring down the kingdom of God here on earth as it is in heaven. If only we are able to lead our children in the instructions and training of the Lord, we would have contributed a big quota to the improvement of our society and the world over. Some of the questions that are looked into in this search as we make discoveries from the word of God are: Why does the Lord Seek Godly Offspring; How does our lives impact on that of our children and also the impact of the lives of our children on our lives and ministry; The best time to start the training of our children in the way of the Lord. We as married couples have an assignment for the Lord, we are indeed the agents of God in bringing down His Kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven. 
    

Friday, 12 July 2013

You Crush Depression As You Learn To Wait On God

It’s been about ten days since I posted a message on this blog and I really missed posting but it was due to event that were a little beyond me. First my laptop developed a little problem, then I also began to feel a little under the weather. But I am glad to be back and share with you again. 
In today’s post I will trust God to give me a word for those people who are feeling depressed in any way and for any reason. Sometime last year I had the  opportunity to speak to a lady that was undergoing some form of depression and this was taking it’s toll on her family as she began to take her frustration out on her little children and husband. She came across my counseling website www.thewordthatsuits.com, read through the articles on the site, got my number from there and gave me a call. 
The cause of the depression being that she lost her job and just felt the world was closing in on her. She concluded there was no means by which she could have a dreams materialize and this really took its toll on her. For about an hour she poured out herself to me like she had never expressed to anyone according to what she told me. But one big lesson I took with me from that counseling session on the phone was that my experiences in life was for a purpose. And all I had gone in life that seemed like hardship was actually God preparing me for His task for my life. 
When she had finished talking, I told her that she had just been out of job for about nine months and she is depressed but I (who happens to be counseling her) have been out of job for well over seven years then and I am yet to loose hope. She has two children both boys to look out for, but I have three children who look up to me to handle their needs and even wants and yet I am not loosing hope. She has a good husband who understood her situation and was very supportive of her, to the point that he bought her a brand new car, but in my own case when I was passing through my own challenges, my husband was not even there for me, in fact he was part of the challenge then (Though that is no more the case, my husband is a changed man that I love to love) and I still didn't loose hope. 
And so I told her that if the Lord has sustained me in well over seven years that I was unable to sustain myself and He has provided for all my needs and that of my family and then revived my near broken marriage, then she really has no cause to be depressed if she desires to receive the intervention of God for her situation. All that she needed was a perseverance heart, and faith in the ability of God. 
I will always say that the faith that makes things happen is the faith that is based on something or the knowledge of something. Abraham was able to have faith in God because he knew that God had the power to do that which He had promised (Roman 4:20-21). In the same way the woman with the issue of blood was able to say within herself that if only she can touch the cloth of Jesus she will be healed because she had heard about the miracles of Jesus (Mark 5:24-30).
Depression only exhibit your limitation, the fact that you are depressed shows that you cannot help yourself and that you need help. It is an internal cry for help from One who is above and beyond you. And the moment you realize this and then truly seek the help that you need and require from the right source which is God, then you are a champion. You have conquered depression without any self effort.

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Depression really gets us nowhere. It is just a waster of time and life. When we exhaust our ability and potentials, that does not mean life has ended, its just a pointer to the need for a better and bigger ability that is only made available in Christ Jesus. When we are wise enough to walk through our situation and walk to God we are victorious. Trials do not occur in our lives to endanger us but to make us mature, teach us to persevere and trust God for all things and relinquish self effort for God’s effort to have a free flow. It is then we become mature and lack nothing. Whatever we want and need from God just requires that we ask and wait, and let God determine the perfect timing for the manifestation of what we have asked of Him. 

Habakkuk 2:3
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

When you are certain of the power of God as you pray, then you will understand that what you are praying for will manifest and not delay but it will be at God’s own set time. He determines the timing not us. He sets the time not us. But the important thing we need to do is to learn perseverance. Learn to wait on Him till His appointed time manifest. The ability to overcome depression lies in the ability to wait on God to grant us our hearts desires and wait on Him for all we need. 
By the time I finished talking to this wonderful lady and the Lord using me to reveal Himself to her, she realized she had nothing to worry about and that she was just impatient and too much in a haste. Now is the time to remove our focus from our situation and challenge and wait for God. He will come and will not delay. Then we will be champions over depression.

If you will like to get a copy of my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement" and "Gleanings From The Throne of God", they are available on amazon.com in print and kindle or via they provided links. http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1372678170&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement,


You can also get them on Createspace.com via the links below.






Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Dealing With External Interference In Marriages

Matthew 19:4-5
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female', and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 

Ephesians 5:31
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"

Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

A lot of times I see things in the Bible that somehow appears as a mystery and I always want to know why it is so. Of such mystery is the very continuous emphasis on the fact that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife in marriage. Noting that a man can remain under the tutelage of his parents and still get married is very much as possible situation. I am sure you will agree with me that a man can still be living under his father's roof and watch and take a woman in as his wife is not an impossibility. But when God designed marriage at the very beginning he designed it such that a man will totally be removed from his father and mother and then be united to his wife. 
When we take a look at the word leave as it is continuously mentioned in the issue of marriage in the Bible we will have the following words as similar in meaning or close alternative for leave: go away, depart, abscond, run off and disappear. And so what the Lord says about marriage is that "a man will go away from, abscond from, depart from, run off from and disappear from his father and mother and then be united with his wife."
The interference of a man's close relatives and loved ones in his marriage has also been one of the hidden problems that marriages face from time to time. As it applies to the man, so is it with the woman/wife. The unity of the man is with his wife and not with his wife and her mother, father, sisters, brothers, cousins and any other form of relative. 
I have experienced and also heard of a lot of damages that relatives either intentionally of otherwise have caused in the marriages of their children or loved ones. A man who loves his parents so much is naturally caught between satisfying their request and that of his wife. For some parents who are overtly domineering, its always a big problem for their children because such parents will always want their voices heard and their commands and instructions obeyed whether it suits their children's marriage situation or not. As far as they are concerned they know best. A daughter or son in-law who does not give in to their dominance becomes a bad egg that must be thrown out fast, such an in-law is not good enough for their child or ward.
In order to have a clear picture of why the Lord wants the man and his wife to leave father and mother behind as they unite and start a new life together, I will like us to consider the call of God on the life of His man Abraham. I have seen a lot of similarities in the call of God for Abraham and that of every man into marriage. 
In Genesis 12, we will read about how God called Abraham to a life of separation telling him to leave his father's household and go to a place where the Lord will show him. Abraham left as the Lord instructed in the company of his wife Sarah and his nephew Lot. Although Abraham obeyed the Lord but with one tiny disobedience, and that is, he took just one tiny extra luggage with him which he was supposed to have left behind and that was his nephew Lot. 
By the time the story got to Genesis 13, Abraham had grown in property and wealth and so did Lot, as he shared in the blessings of Abraham. But the land then grew insufficient for both of them to co-exist, Lot's herdsmen and Abraham herdsmen began to quarrel over pasture land for their cattle and they had to part ways. This same land was the promised land that the children of Israel would eventually inherit, yet it was insufficient for Lot and Abraham.
In the same manner that home that the Lord has established for the man and his wife will eventually become insufficient when the mothers and fathers begin to co-exist with the man and his wife and so with time quarrels will start. The Lord that designed the home at the beginning designed it for the man and his wife alone. Not with the man's father and mother or the wife's father and mother, but for the man and his wife alone. 
Our parents, siblings, cousins and all other loved ones we have, have been placed by God in our lives for a purpose and He wants us to always love them and care for them. 1 Timothy 5:8 teaches a man to provide for his relatives, and this includes all the loved one I have mentioned. But when it comes to the marriage issue, they are to remain outside the unity of the man and his wife. As the Lord said, the man and his wife are to leave these loved ones behind as they unite in matrimony. They are extra luggage that are not essential for the journey ahead. Ecclesiastes 4:12b tells us that "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." This cord I believe represents the man, his wife and the Lord Jesus Christ. 
In the real sense we might need to borrow wisdom from our parents as we journey on in marriage, but we need to know and understand when to draw the line and how far they are allowed to interfere in our marriages. As for the parents, this message has not undermined your guardian role over your children, but the control you are able to exert on them reduces drastically when they have grown enough to head a home themselves or be a suitable help to a man in themselves. At this point the head of the man is Christ and the head of the woman is her husband (1 Corinthian 11:3).
Proverbs 22:6 says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." If as a parent you have been able to train your child well in the way he/she is to go just as the passage above says, then when they are grown enough to marry you can be rest assured that your child is well prepared for his/her matrimonial journey in life with God watching over them, and your mind can be at rest as you carry on your own journey fulfilling your divine assignment to your spouse and to God. 
In many occasions married couples have been burden with the over-bearing influence of parents and guardians on decisions of their homes, while not wanting to hurt their feelings or appear disobedient or rude. I understand that situation well because I have been their before, but when you know the truth of God's design for your marriage you are able to take a firm stand on issues of your home without being rude or confrontational to external interference. You also need to stand onthe truth of God's words and pray off any external interference that might be affecting your home even with good intentions. The Lord is able to and will help you uphold your home and marriage, just keep on calling to Him, He will show up.    

If you will like to get a copy of my book "Marriage God's Rules of Engagement" and Gleanings From The Throne of God," they are available in print and kindle on amazon.com or via the provided links. You can also view and review the books via the link, that will be much appreciated.


The are aslo available on CreatSpace.com via these links:



Monday, 1 July 2013

Who Is Responsible For The Financial Provisions Of The Home?

1 Timothy 5:8
If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
  
Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find? she is worth far more than rubies. 
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from from afar. 
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it; out of her earning she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 
In her hands she holds the distaff and grasp the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seats among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Although this passage came as a prayer from Paul to the people of Philippe, it's a big truth in all circumstances, that as long as we remain under the covenant of God and we are legitimate children of God, the Lord God Almighty is responsible for meeting all our needs and even wants and all we ever desire. He is able to meet those needs and surely will meet them if we remain under His covenant. Psalm 37:4 says "we should delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts." This is also true for the needs of our homes, but the Lord will still use a vessel in meeting these needs as He will not come down from heaven and lay the provisions of our needs on our laps. By reason of answers to prayers doors of financial increase might open for either the husband or the wife in order to meet up with the financial needs of the home. 
The focus of this post is have an understanding into whether it is the man or the woman that God will use as a vessel in meeting the needs of the home according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. In many cultures or traditions it is assumed that the man has been delegated by God as the one solely responsible for the financial provisions of the home. Well in this regard the belief of these cultures are not wrong, it is a man's responsibility to provide for his family, most especially his immediate family as Paul has stated in 1 Timothy 5:8. A man who fails in this responsibility and does so intentional is regarded not as a believer in the Lord Jesus, but as an unbeliever and should be treated as such.
But in the home the man is not the only vessel whom the Lord can and will use to meet the needs of the home. The wife and mother of the home is also a handy vessel in God's hands for this purpose. The wife and her ability to provide financially for the needs of the home is put to test when the husband and head of the home is financially down or broke and the wife is too step in and fill the gap. Thus Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up." The fall is not the literal falling, but this fall comes in various dimensions. It comes in form of sin, moral standard, financial fall and many other falls, and so the Bible says when such a fall happens his friend, not his mother or sister or father or brother will help him, but that his friend whom the Lord has placed in his life as a suitable help ahead of those falls will help him up when he falls.  
And here comes the role of a virtuous wife whom the Lord has groomed and placed in the life of his man ahead of the many falls he may encounter in life. Proverbs 31:10-31 tells us so much about the virtues of a wife of noble character, but for the purpose of this post I will just want to consider those virtues that relates to providing for her family. 
For many women, they carry on the thought that it's not their responsibility to provide for the needs of the home even when they have the resources to spare. Through what the Bible shows us in Proverbs 31:10-31 we can conclude that these women have not passed the test of a wife of noble character. It's the responsibility of the husband to provide for the home, but it's your responsibility as his suitable help to financial help and support your husband when the need arises. That is why the Lord permitted you to be his wife and suitable help. 
Solomon says a wife of noble character is a woman whom her husband has full confidence in and lacks nothing of value, because she brings him good all the days of her life. She is the pride of her husband. For me this lines are very deep and needs us as women to consider it well. It appears as though the Lord will assess us through the ratings of our husband. Heaven will adjudge us noble or not based on how much good we have been able to bring to our husbands' lives, all the days of our lives. 
Some other things that categorizes us as women or wives of noble character is how much we are able to take care of our families even with our own income and resources. A wife of noble character considers a field and buys it and then plants  a vineyard all with her earnings. This she is doing with her earnings. 
The passage also tells that she provides food for her family and portions for her maid servants. She is like a merchant ships bringing her food from her afar. That food which she provides for her family is one brought from afar as a result of her merchandise. From what I am reading in this passage, 60% of what it says show the ability of the wife of noble character to generate income with which to care of her family. This goes along a long way to show that a wife is expected by God to work at earning income to make available financial provisions for the family. She is also just as much a vessel as the man in the hands of God in meeting the needs of the family.
Now if we consider that the man has a responsibility bestowed on him by God to provide for the needs of the family and that the wife of noble character is also a vessel usable by God in making financial provision for the family then the family based on God's purpose should not experience severe lack. If the man and his wife jointly bearing the financial responsibility of the home with the husband as the principal partner and the wife as the suitable help, then even in times of trouble the family is well hidden. 
It is time to start doing the needful, it's time that the man and his wife will start to put the needs of the family ahead of their personal wants and fulfill God's plan for their homes. Then the two will enjoy lasting peace even in financial issues. 

To get my book "Marriage: God's Rules of Engagement," please click the http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Rules-Engagement-Aderinsola-Obasa/dp/9789238045/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1372678170&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=Marriage%3A+God%27s+Rules+of+Engagement. I will be grateful if you can help review the book on the link provided. 

To also get my book "Gleanings From The Throne of God," please click the link http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Gleanings%20From%20the%20Throne%20of%20God. I will be grateful if you can help review the book on the link provided