Saturday 25 May 2013

Godly Parenting


Malachi 2:15
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do mot break faith with the wife of your youth.

If I attempt to say that the human race is going into extinction it is not that the human race will cease to exist, but the moral value that places a pride in the human race is grossly on the decline. And the worse hit in this decline of moral value are the children that are born into the world in this generation. It’s either the parents are losing focus or the devil is grossly taking over the minds of our children, and as parents we are doing very little to tackle the situation. 
Another thing I have discovered is that most parents are beginning to rule out discipline in the homes all in the name of showing love. The level of exposure in the world today is way too advance for the children and as parents we generally feel it’s fun exposing our children to things that are way beyond them. No wonder we have having the stories we hear these days of teenage killings and even toddlers accidentally shooting themselves dead. 
The contents of a lot of T.V programs for children are absolutely nothing to write home about. Things like witchcraft and wizards have now been made to look like fun and less evil than it actually is. Guns are crossly been displayed in the children’s cartoon programs in the name of fighting evil. And I can just go on and on about everything that is wrong in our society today aiding the decline in moral value.
With this said, it is important to know and understand the expectations of God in the life of the parents over the lives of their children. In the Bible passage above, the Lord said He has united the man and his wife and made them one in flesh and spirit because He seeks godly offspring from their union. I now wonder within me that if we fail as parents, what excuse will we give God as reason why we were unable to produce for Him the godly offspring that He desires from our marriage union?      

1 Samuel 3:11-14
And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family - from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’”

So many times that I have thought about my responsibility as a parent and this passage comes to mind, I am reminded that the assignment the Lord has given to me as a parent is one not to be taken lightly or handled with negligence. When I consider the fact that Eli as a priest never did anything wrong, yet he payed for the sins of his sons that he knew and did nothing about. A curse and death sentence rested over Eli and his household just because of his failure as a parent. Eli’s only sin was that he did not restrain his sons from doing wrong.
In our generation today, quite a lot of parents are guilty of the same sin in the name of showing or expressing love to their children. In as much as there is a big need to love and show love to our children, there is also a big need for a balance between love and discipline. 
When you show too much love to the children without adequate discipline, the result is the total decay in moral values that we are beginning to experience in the world today. When a child is not thought to be a disciplined and responsible man, then he’ll forever be a boy even at the age of 40years.
Solomon said in Proverbs 22:6 that “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The kind of adult a child grows up to be depends largely on the kind of training he gets as a child. And this training is not what is expected of the teachers in school or the aunties, uncles, and the older people around. But it is much of what the Lord expects of the parents. One of the major reasons for which the Lord  united the man with his wife, both in flesh and spirit is because he seeks godly offspring from that union. The Lord expects godly offspring from the man and his wife and not the uncles and aunties that are hanging around or teachers in school.   
The instruction that I prefer to that of Solomon, is the instruction given by Paul in Ephesians 6:4. It reads, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” There are different paths to which a man can train his children which eventually becomes their life shaper as they grow. This pattern might not necessarily be in the way of the Lord, but it forms the basis of who the child will grow up to be. 
But Paul said the training of a child, which will form the foundation of the child in life should be in the instruction of the Lord. It is important that the training of the child from which he/she will not depart when they grow should be in the instruction of the Lord and not in any other way or path.   

Proverbs 23:13-14
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

One aspect of training a child that is grossly been threatened is the act of discipline. A lot of societies have now taken discipline for child abuse and so many societies most especially in the developed countries have actually prohibited the use of the rob on children. There is the need to try and understand the difference between the discipline of a child through the use of a rod which the Bible recommends in the passage above, and child abuse. 
The use of the rod the Bible says does not kill a child, but rather it saves life. This is a big contradiction to what obtains in the world today. But it is important to note that there is the need to balance discipline and love. A combination of this (love and discipline) is what saves the child as the Bible has stated. Excessive discipline without love is what leads to child abuse rather than the use of the rod as a measure of discipline. But love without discipline the Bible also says spoils the child. If you love your child then based on Bible recommendation you discipline that child and even use the rod as a means of discipline. A child who is not disciplined in a child who is hated and not loved. When you truly love your child you take the time to train and discipline him/her and save their souls from death.

Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

The fact that discipline is grossly been down played in our world today is what is resulting in the increase in moral decay that we are observing among the children of today. But one thing that we need to understand is that when we discipline our children, we do not only save their souls, we invest in our own grey days. Proverbs 17:6a says “Children’s children are a crown to old age,” this proverbs does not refer to children who lacks discipline, because Proverbs 17:21 says “To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.” Again Proverbs 19:13a says “A foolish son is his father’s ruin,” without this been said in the Bible it is happening in our world today as we can see the so much grief that wayward children are bringing to their parents. But how can a child gain wisdom without being thought and how can one teach wisdom without discipline. A son without wisdom is a fool and of such he brings grief and ruin to his parents.
As parent in order to safeguard your joy in the future it is important to train and discipline your children and in fact train them in the instruction of the Lord. When a parents spares the rod, he hates his child rather than love him as we are learning in the Bible. But there is the need to sound it loud that excessive use of the rod produces a negative effect on the child rather than train. It is the use of the rod to discipline with love as the underling motive that produces the desired result and also produces wisdom. When you spare the rod, you do not only mortgage the future of your children, you also mortgage your joy over them.
The need for proper discipline of our children cannot be overemphasized, the world we see and complain of today is as a result of the neglect of a lot of parents who ignorantly and in the bid to show love have relegated the need for proper discipline to the bottom. The assignment to train a child in the way of the Lord was delegated by God, He says in Malachi 2:15 that He made the man and his wife one in flesh and spirit because He seeks godly offspring from that union. There is the need to evaluate our performance in this regard. If we need to do a little more, then now is the time to start. In all assignment that God has given us He will demand an account. May the Lord see us through.

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